Author’s Note: Dean/OFC, Sam, Bobby. Takes place early during the fourth season. All platonic; if you’re looking for sex, sorry not this time.
Disclaimer: I own no one except Kenzie; she’s all mine. And I’m not making any money from any of them, dammit.
Warning: Non-consensual spanking of an adult female.
I was really, really tired of being alone. Before, I had been tired of a lot of other things. Of being watched over. Of being restricted. Of being confined. Of…being.
They thought they were taking care of me. That I couldn’t take care of myself, that I needed their protection. So they wrapped me in cotton wool, assuming that they could pull it over my eyes and make me believe that this was all for the best, the way things should be. Mistake number one.
They had no clue. From the beginning, I was left at home, because Dad was determined that his little girl would not grow up to be a hunter. She’d be safe, and protected, and taken care of just like always.
I caught on early. Left with Pastor Jim when Dad took Sam and Dean and went on the hunt. Dean was four; Sam was a baby. I was two. Sam never knew me. And Dean forgot real quick…probably because Dad told him to. Dean always did what Dad told him to. Anyhow, I grew up a preacher’s daughter. The one thing Dad didn’t count on, was that preachers don’t lie. So when I started asking questions, I got answers. And when I started demanding to learn, I got taught. Jim took me to Bobby when I was thirteen. Bobby was my Dad in all but blood from then on. I’d go back to Pastor Jim when the guys were around…couldn’t have us meeting each other, after all. Only eventually we did. Dad was gone. Actually, it was the day Bobby told me Dad had given his life for Dean. I figured that was probably the only decent thing the man had ever done in his life.
Dean was a mess, Sam wasn’t much better, and the last thing they needed to hear was that they had a sister they didn’t remember. So I didn’t stick around to cause them any more pain. I’d been on my own for awhile, checking in with Bobby regularly. When I got the news of Pastor Jim’s death, I took it hard. When I got the news of my Dad’s death…I had another beer. After I met my brothers…well, that called for more than one beer.
Bobby and I had had a deal. I hunted, under his direction. As long as I followed orders, everything was cool. But I’m a Winchester, after all, and learning more than I wanted to know about my ‘family’…more of what Bobby had kept from me all these years…I was done following orders. I was done being protected. I was…done.
I took off on my own, and for more than a year they didn’t find me. Probably weren’t looking, of course, except maybe for Bobby. And he wouldn’t have found me then, except I was trying too damn hard to get myself killed, to forget the father and brothers I’d never known, the family I’d never been allowed to have. To forget how they’d all denied me the one thing I wanted most in the world. So I went on a rampage. Vamps, spirits, Wendigos, werewolves, leviathans… anything and everything was fair game. The only reason I survived it was that I’d been taught by the best.
But Bobby eventually found me. And sent the boys to get me. Mistake number two.
They didn’t wanna be there. They had better things to do. I sure as HELL had better things to do…I was dancing with a demon at the time, and about a half-breath away from a pretty nasty eternity. Then these two came busting in all guns-a-blazing, and the next thing I know we’re one demon less, a few bruises more, and staring at each other like idiots because we didn’t know what else to do. Popcorn and a movie, anyone?
So they dragged me back to Bobby’s—I don’t think any of us said a word on the 4-hour drive—and here we sit around his kitchen table. So far, the only one talking is Bobby, and he’s been up one side of me and down the other for a good half-hour now. When he finally paused for breath, I opened my mouth to talk…and damned if Dean didn’t interrupt before I got a word out. Then I had to listen to HIM for another 10 minutes, until I’d finally had enough of “what did you think you were doing” and “why didn’t you let us know where you were” and “how did you think you could take this on all alone”…that was the one that finally made me snap.
“Listen you Goddamn sonofabitch. I’ve been ALONE all my life. Shoved from one person to another depending on who didn’t want me at the moment. I grew up hard and fast, and I grew up to HUNT. Alone. Cause I sure as hell never had any of my family at my back before, and I’ve got no illusions that anything’s gonna change now. So get down off your fucking high horse and quit pretending you give a damn about me, because I know better!”
I wasn’t thinking at the time, I was just mad. Because Bobby was probably the one good thing that had happened in my life, and I’d just included him in that little tirade against the world. If I’d been thinking…but being around Dean, I just lost all perspective. Everything was a fight, everything was a battle, everything was about how I hated him for leaving me alone. Like it was his fault.
I came back to earth with a bang when Bobby said, very quietly, “Sorry you feel like that, Kenzie. Maybe it’s better you go.”
“Damn straight.” I grabbed my jacket and duffle and headed out the door, half-hearing Sam behind me protest.
“Bobby, no! Making her leave isn’t gonna solve anything. We need to work this thing out, and we need to do it now.” He called after me, “Kenzie, wait!” But I was already out the door and in no mood to stop.
Dean stopped me.
Bigger, stronger, and like a freakin’ wall in front of me. I could have gotten past, if I’d wanted to, but there’s certain things you don’t do to your big brother, even if you hate him. So I stopped. He turned me around, pushed me back inside, and growled, “Siddown.” Sam added, “Please.” So I conceded for the moment, dropped my stuff on the floor, and sat.
And I started to feel like shit. Bobby didn’t deserve to be treated that way…and hell, probably neither did Sam and Dean. Sure, they could’ve done more to find me in the last year, at least made an attempt to get to know me, but well, they’d had problems of their own. I’d heard about a lot of it…Hell and Purgatory and possessions and all that crap. Some of the fight went out of me.
“I’m sorry Bobby.” I looked him square in the eye, and said it as honestly as I could. “You’ve always been there for me, and you didn’t deserve that.”
“No, I didn’t. But maybe you got reason. Your life ain’t been a picnic, I know that. But me, and these two Idjits, are all you got, and it’s a damn sight better than a lot of people have. So suck it up and give us a chance, will ya?”
I sighed and closed my eyes, nodded my head. Every fiber of my being was screaming NO! Get out of there, leave, don’t even try this, you’ll only regret it. But deep down inside was that little girl clutching a teddy bear that Bobby had told her used to be her brother’s. Knowing she had family out there that didn’t know about her..or worse, knew and didn’t care. And wanting, just for once, to not be alone.
We didn’t accomplish much that night, other than to all get stinkin’ drunk. I learned that Dean snores, and Sam drools, and Bobby…well, never mind what Bobby does; he’s older and the plumbing don’t work so well any more. I also learned that Sam will hold my hair while I throw up, and Dean has no stomach for other people’s vomit, and Bobby apparently has never had a hangover in his life. And none of us feel like cleaning up the morning after.
We did eventually get our act together, and Bobby sat us back down around the table, and gave us a little speech.
“You idjits know nothin’ about each other. Best way to learn is to work together. I got a case for you in Idaho. You can leave first thing tomorrow.”
Bobby doesn’t waste a lot of time on non-essentials. And none of us DARED to argue with him. So after an uncomfortable day of poking around the house, casting suspicious glances at each other, and an early night, next morning we piled into the Impala, my duffel thrown on top of theirs in the trunk, and headed for Idaho. Last thing Bobby said, as we left, “Screw this up, and you’ll answer to me!” We all knew he wasn’t talking about the hunt.
Dean insists on blaring this god-awful music at top volume while he drives. Sam seems to be immune…probably deaf from years of exposure. I made him stop at the first town we came to so I could buy earplugs…and even that didn’t eliminate the noise entirely. But it did help.
That first night, we stopped for dinner and a motel. Made small talk at the diner…and found out the only friggin’ motel in town had only one room left. I was all for going to the next town, but Dean and Sam said they were tired; needed to stop for the night. Wusses. I offered to drive and let them both sleep, but Dean acted like he was gonna have apoplexy right then and there, so we checked into the room and I claimed a bed. They could fight over the other one.
Dean grabbed a beer and the remote, and settled down to watch a football game. Sam headed for the shower. I pulled a book out of my duffel and pretended to read, but after just a few minutes, when the damn fools allowed another interception, I let out a groan and said, “They oughtta fire that coach!” Dean eyed me warily. “Well they should! He keeps overriding the quarterback, who at least has SOME clue of what he’s doing, and they’re gonna lose this game big time!” Dean quirked an eyebrow and offered me a beer. “Whaddya think about SanFrancisco this year?” I snorted. “If they make it to the playoffs it’ll be because they bribed somebody! Have you seen their defense?”
Ten minutes later when Sam emerged from the shower, Dean and I were amicably arguing football and swilling beer. Sam just shook his head and popped open his laptop. Two hours later, Sam was passed out sprawled across one bed and I was crawling into the other. That left Dean with the floor…it was not a high class room; he was no way going to be able to sleep in one of THESE chairs.
Shit. They’re big beds. “Hey. You wanna sleep here, c’mon. I’ll be under the covers; you sleep on top. Better than the floor.”
He looked like he was gonna refuse.
“You don’t get a good night’s sleep, either Sam or I will be driving tomorrow. Your choice.” That did it; he flopped down beside me on the bed, as close to the edge as he could get. I grinned, and fell asleep almost instantly.
Next morning when I woke up, I felt all warm and snuggly and…GAH! I had somehow ended up cuddled next to Dean, who was spooned around me snoring in my hair. Make it worse….Sam was sitting on the other bed staring at us. Wiggling out from under the deadweight of Dean’s arm, I muttered, “I so need a shower!” and headed for the bathroom. Sam was …tittering. Honest to god, girly laugh tittering. I MUST be adopted.
We grabbed a bag of breakfast at McDonalds and hit the road. About 10 minutes later, the road hit us back. Police roadblock. Dean and Sam exchanged glances; no time to sort out a story now. Hope to hell they had nothing on the Impala. I waited to see what ID they were using; luckily Bobby kept us supplied with compatible ones. When the cop asked where we were headed, I piped up, “My brothers are taking me back to college. I got into Idaho State this year, and I’ve just been home for vacation…and they’re so overprotective they wouldn’t let me take the bus back! Can you believe it? And we’re running really late cause I overslept this morning…I’ve been hearing about THAT the whole way…so I hope we aren’t going to have to wait or anything?” I turned on as much innocent college freshman charm as I could manage, and the middle-aged cop (who probably had at least one kid in college himself) just gave me a big smile, said “Make your folks proud, kid!” and waved us through.
Sam looked back at me approvingly after we got a little ways down the road. “Not bad!” he commented.
“Well, it’s hard to do the frightened hooker or the escaping battered wife with you guys in the front seat. All I had left was college kid.”
“Whatever,” Dean grumbled. “At least it worked.”
We hit the town Bobby had named that night, late, and got a motel. This time, two rooms. I was beyond pleased to have some time and space to myself. I’d been alone for so long, having two guys in that close contact for so long was making me more than a little crazy. After a quick shower I settled down in my room to look over the meager details Bobby had sent with us, hauled out my laptop, and did some poking around the local records. Seemed like a simple case of pissed off spirit; unexplained deaths, electrical malfunctions, strange areas of cold air…figures Bobby would give us an easy one while we learned to work together. I had a couple of good leads to follow, and poked my head in the boys’ room to ask if they wanted in…but they were both fast asleep. Wusses. So I just closed the door quietly and headed out on my own.
In retrospect, that may not have been the best idea. My leads were good…too good. Ran smack into an abandoned bowling alley full of spirits. Not just one or two, a whole slew of the suckers. I’m good, but even I had my limits. I took out three or four of them, and was about to get my ass kicked by the rest when suddenly they all just backed off, and stood there, looking. Before I got over my surprise, there was another entity in the room…staring at me with coal black eyes. Just what I needed; another demon encounter. At least I had time to get back on my feet while the thing wearing the (really attractive) meat suit in front of me sized me up.
“Well, well, if it isn’t Kenzie.” He smirked.
“How the hell do you know who I am?” I asked in shock.
“Hell is exactly how I know.” He responded. “My boss has been looking for a way to get to the Winchesters for quite some time…and here it has dropped right into my lap, so to speak. You may get me a promotion.”
He still hadn’t moved, and I was looking around frantically for something to help. I hadn’t expected a demon; and my weapon of choice (a slightly used angel blade; we won’t go into how I got my hands on it) was back at the motel. So was the holy water. Rookie mistake, and one that was likely to cost me dearly.
He strode forward and grabbed at me, and I was able to dodge, but I knew I couldn’t keep it up for long. I dropped and rolled right between his legs as he came at me again…and fetched up against another pair of legs, as immovable as the rock of Gibraltar. Fuck….two demons was more than I could handle even armed. I glanced up, only to see Dean’s face looking down at me, with an expression that could only be described as incredibly pissed. And movement to my right turned out to be Sam, moving in for the kill. I watched as the demon smoke left the dying body, and the spirits around the room dissolved into nothingness. All that was left was me, still on the floor, and two really pissed off Winchesters.
Dean reached down a hand and hauled me to my feet, still glaring. Sam walked over, calmly wiping his hands, and asked with a rather worried look if I was ok. I nodded.
“Good.” Dean responded. “Cause you sure as hell won’t be ok once I’m done with you.” He gripped my upper arm and started dragging me towards the door, and I really had to battle my instinct to fight back. Every fiber of my being wanted to kick, hit, strike out with anything at hand. It took all my mental control to keep reminding myself that this was my big brother, they had just saved my ass, and I had made a really stupid mistake that actually SHOULD have gotten me killed...or worse. If I had been them, I would have been pissed as hell too. Bobby would have kicked my ass to Texas and back…and I would have let him. But Dean and Sam…well, I hadn’t known them long enough for that by a long shot…although at the moment I didn’t seem to have much choice in the matter.
Dean dragged me out to the Impala, Sam striding along right behind and not looking any happier than his brother, and shoved me in the back. The two of them climbed in the front, and back to the motel we went, in total silence. Dean didn’t even turn on that noise he called music, which kind of worried me.
When the car stopped, I barely had time to move before Dean was opening my door and pulling me out, and Sam preceded us, unlocking the door and stepping aside so Dean could shove me through. I was about sick of all the manhandling, and turned to tell them so, but I didn’t get a chance.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Dean growled, still glaring. “Walking into that mess by yourself? And unless I’ve gone blind, you didn’t have any kind of demon killing weapon along with you, now did you?”
I bit back my normal response, which would have been to tell him to fuck off. He was right…at least about the weapon.
“I always go in by myself, and anyhow you guys were both asleep.” I said defensively, then I admitted, “But you’re right; not having my blade was a stupid mistake.”
“And stupid mistakes get you killed!” Sam chipped in. Dean grabbed my arm again and spun me around to face him, up close and personal.
“You listen to me. We work as a team; your days of barging in alone are over! And if Dad was here, he’d blister your ass for charging in there unprepared!”
“Well I guess it’s a damn good thing Dad’s not here then…oh wait, he never HAS been, so it hasn’t been an issue! Last thing I need is criticism from the people who couldn’t be bothered with me when I was learning.” I spat out; guilt over being stupid had been overridden by anger at Dean’s overbearing attitude.
“Dad may not have been there, but we are here NOW, and I am not going to let some foolish idea that you can conquer the world by yourself get you killed. You’re working with me now, and that means you let me know what’s going on, and you do what I say!”
That pushed me right over the edge. “When pigs fly! You can take that holier than thou attitude and shove it right up your ass, because I don’t have to listen to you and I sure as HELL don’t have to do what you say!”
“We’ll see about that.” Dean grabbed my arm again, and hauled me after him over to the bed. He sat down on the edge, and I was face down over his lap before I could blink. And so freaking shocked at being there that I couldn’t even react…until his hand landed, hard, on the seat of my jeans. THEN I reacted…I kicked, and thrashed, and punched…and none of it did me any good whatsoever. He was just too much stronger than I was, and he was expecting the fight. He quickly pinned my legs under his own, twisted my arm behind my back, and held me firmly in place with one hand while the other one descended on my butt again.
“You aren’t on your own any more, little girl.” He lectured while continuing to slap my ass with way more force than I thought possible. “You wanted family; now you got it, and you can damn well deal with it. That means listening, and talking, and getting your ass busted when you screw up. Which you did tonight, with a vengeance.”
I really couldn’t believe this was happening. He was SPANKING me, for Chrissake, hard and fast, and it HURT. I was determined not to give in, not to let them see me weaken, but jesusgodhell it hurt, and it was humiliating, and he was fucking hitting HARDER…and suddenly the dam broke. I was not an experienced, talented hunter who had seen and killed way more than most people dream of…I was a little girl with a big brother who was pissed at me for nearly getting myself killed. And in some awkward, warped, twisted way that meant that he cared. That he was taking care of me. While the pain of the spanking could no way make me cry, the thought of a big brother who cared about me sent me right over the edge, and I burst into tears.
The spanking slowed at that point, and eventually stopped, and Dean pulled me up to sit beside him on the bed. For the first time in my life, I turned and buried my face in his shirt, and let myself cry on his shoulder. Shaking and sobbing well beyond what the spanking warranted, I didn’t see the worried look he gave Sam, or hear Sam’s reply.
“She’s not used to this, Dean. She just realized that somebody’s got her back, somebody cares, that she’s really got a family. She’s not crying about the spanking…although she might kick your ass about that later.” He grinned.
Dean just patted my back and let me cry it out, until finally I sat up and started looking around for tissues. Sam shoved a box in my hand, and I muttered, “Thanks.” I mopped up, blew my nose, and then turned to look straight at Dean.
“OK, I got the message. Although the delivery sucked. You know, nobody has ever spanked me before. And I’m not sure I like this part of having a big brother.”
“Yeah, well it was long overdue then. And it comes as a package deal, so suck it up.” He slid one arm around me and gave me a hug, and much to my surprise (and probably his) I leaned into it. After a couple of minutes it got awkward, but neither of us moved.
Sam broke the tension. “I can’t believe Bobby never spanked you. He whaled the tar out of both of us more than once!”
I sniffed and moved away from Dean’s side. “Well you probably deserved it. I didn’t usually do stupid shit like head into a spirit haunt without my blade.”
“So you do have one then?” Dean asked.
“Sure. A former angel blade. Works like a charm.” I gave him a mock glare. “Probably works on overbearing know-it-all hunters too.”
“Go ahead and try it, sweetheart. You’ll end up right back over my knee, I promise you.” He smirked.
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” I smiled, a genuine smile, and Dean smiled back. Maybe, just maybe, we really could be…a family.