Authorís Note: This story fills the bingo square for Ďstandingí in the ĎHoliday Bingo Challengeí over at the LJ group Ďspanking_worldí. Itís also filling the following prompt from Artofotk:
Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Kevin/Jake
Kevin spanks Jake. He's quite strict but shows some sweet fondness for him.
Disclaimer: I donít own any of these characters, and Iím not making any money from this story.
Warning: Non-consensual spanking of an adult.
Authorís Second Note: Iíve only seen about ten episodes of this show, so I certainly wouldnít call myself an expert, and there may be some accidental non-cannon stuff in here. If so Ė sorry! This episode takes place during Season 2 Episode 5 ĎThe Moleí, which I have seen. A few of the lines are straight from the show.
Jake stood outside his bossís house, internally giving himself a pep-talk before knocking on the door. Yes, Internal Affairs was investigating the precinct to find a mole. Yes, Jake looked guilty since heíd taken classified files home without permission. And yes, one of his co-workers was apparently a master at deception, because Jake had no idea who it could possibly be. BUT he had faith that if he and Captain Holt worked together, they could figure out who the mole was before tomorrow morning when Jake got suspended.
"Not gonna happen," he muttered to himself, and quickly knocked on the door before he lost his nerve. "Please be Holt. Please beÖ"
"Kev," he said in a forced happy high tone.
"Jake," Kevin said with irritation, "it's after midnight, this had better be about a murder."
"No, I wish." He realized that probably hadnít been the best wording, and continued, "Look, Iím really sorry, but I have to talk to Captain Holt."
"Raymond," Kevin called over his shoulder, "your work life is here." Kevin opened the door wider. "Please come in. Take off your shoes."
"Neither of us want that," Jake said with certainty as he walked into the foyer and watched Holt come down the stairs.
"What is going on Peralta? Itís been a long day," Holt said as Kevin sighed and walked into another room.
"WellÖ" Jake blurted it all out in a rush, "ÖInternal Affairs caught me returning some classified files, and now Iím the prime suspect in the mole investigation, and Miller said I would be suspended in the morning. But more importantly, whatís the J stand for? Jake asked, while pointing at the initials R.J.H. on Holtís pajamas. James? John? JoJo?"
"My middle name is more important to you than being suspended?" Holt asked dryly.
"If itís JoJo?" Jake grinned. "Yes." Holt was clearly unamused, so Jake took it down a notch and continued, "Look. I came here because we have to figure this thing out. Miller is sure thereís a mole in the precinct, and the only way to prove itís not me is to figure out who it is."
"Earlier you said there was no mole. You said you knew everything about your coworkers."
"Well, it turns out I donít. I found out some truly horrible things tonight. You were right, and I was wrong."
Holtís eyebrows went way up, and Jake could tell that this time the man was impressed. "Letís discuss this in the study."
Over the next five and a half hours, Jake and Captain Holt went over each and every one of their co-workers, trying to decide which one of them could possibly be leading a double life. Theyíd had coffee, theyíd had snacks, theyíd filled an entire whiteboard with sticky notes full of intel, and halfway through the wee hours of the morning, Holt had offered Jake a set of Ďguest pajamasí and slippers. Jake had honestly felt like theyíd been on the verge of solving the case for the past hour, but still nothing.
At five-thirty, they both heard Kevin walking down the stairs and shuffling into the kitchen to make coffee.
When Jake heard that, he lay down on the floor in defeat and said, "I canít believe we canít figure out who the mole is."
"Well," Holt said, "there is someone we havenít talked about yet. Detective Jake Peralta."
"What? Someoneís got a case of the sleepover sillies," Jake joked, "trying not to feel hurt. Why would I be the mole?"
Holt sat up and looked him in the eyes. "You were just caught sneaking classified materials into the precinct. You spent six months under cover in the mafia, and have many criminal contacts. Youíve been known to flaunt departmental rules and regulations. And you are deeply in debt."
"Well if you hadnít tricked me into getting car insurance, I wouldnít be in debt! Feeling more than a little offended, Jake stood and ranted. You wanna do me?! Iíll do you right back. Tit for toot!"
Remaining unperturbed, Holt simply raised one eyebrow. "Iíve been on the force for over thirty years, and Iíve never been accused of impropriety."
"Oh, is that a fact?" Jake said, trying and failing not to make big hand gestures as he spoke. "Because I heard you call Deputy Chief Wuntch by her first name. And after that you told her you hoped she got carried off by crows. That is gross insubordination!"
Holt stood as well and said, "Madeline is irrelevant. Our battle extends beyond the confines of NYPD rules. Youíre being ridiculous."
"Am I?" Jake asked, his voice rising. He was hurt, offended, and trying very hard not to feel intimidated by the larger man who also happened to be his boss and sometimes father figure. "If youíre such a great cop, how come you didnít know there was a mole in your precinct? Thatís right! Because you did know! Because you are the moleÖ youÖ youÖ mole!" He scowled at his lack of a good burn.
"Iíve heard enough." Holt said holding his hand up to stop Jake from anything else he might have said. "Please return your guest pajamas, guest toothbrush, guest slippers, and get out of here. Itís time for you to be suspended."
"Fine!" Jake stormed off to the bathroom where heíd left his clothes a few hours ago. He shut the door a little more forcefully than needed, and yanked the striped pajama top off his head. As he changed clothes, he muttered to himself. "Accuse me of being the mole. Me? Iím the one who came over here to figure out who the mole was! Who needs your comfortable pajamas, fuzzy slippers, inviting home, and warm approval anyway? Not me, thatís who." He kicked at the pajamas and slippers that were now on the floor, and finished getting dressed. Once he was done, he glared at himself in the mirror, and decided another pep talk was in order. "You need to figure this out on your own, Jake. Come on man, youíre the best detective on the force. You can do this. Go home, catch a nap, and look at it with fresh eyes."
Feeling better, he nodded to himself and opened the bathroom door to leave. He almost stepped right into Kevin, who was directly on the other side of the door, but halted just in time. "Jeez Kev, give a guy a heart attack why donítÖ you." As Jake spoke, he took in Kevinís appearance. The older man was still in pajamas, his arms were crossed, he was scowling, and he was holding a wooden hairbrush in his right hand. Kevin never looked happy when Jake was around, but this was something else. This was seriously displeased Kevin, and Jake found himself taking a step back.
He doubted Kevin was there to brush his own hair, or Jakeís hair, and there was only one other use for a hairbrush that Jake could think of in the moment, but that idea was insane. But then Jake had crazy ideas all the time, and half the time those crazy ideas ended up being valid ideas. Thatís part of why he was a great detective.
"You and I need to have a discussion, Jacob." Kevin stepped into the small room, and shut the door behind him, before re-crossing his arms and glaring at the younger man.
Jake took another step back, worrying that this would be one of those times that his idea had validity. "The Captain told me to leave, so I should probablyÖ"
"Did you, or did you not, just accuse my husband of gross insubordination?" Kevin asked sternly.
"UhÖ well IÖ" Jakeís mind raced to think of something, anything, that would get him out of this before his crazy idea became a nightmarish reality.
"And did you, or did you not, accuse my husband who has been on the force for thirty years, of being the mole?"
"Look, Kev..." Jake saw the older manís brows crease and finished off his name, "Öin, Iíve been up all night, and Iím exhausted. I may have said some things that I didnít mean."
Kevin pointed the hairbrush at Jakeís nose and said, "You, young man, are Raymondís favorite."
Jakeís eyes grew wide with shock. "What?!" He shook his head with disbelief.
"Heís always talking about you. Yes, half of the time itís because heís exasperated with your antics, but the other half itís because heís proud. Do you think he would have let any other detective into our home for the night to work on a case?"
"Yes," Jake answered honestly.
"No," Kevin said firmly. "He wouldnít have."
Jakeís mouth opened and closed a few times, unable to formulate a coherent response. Here was confirmation of that warm approval heíd been wanting from Holt since the man became Captain, but heíd just said some awful things to the man, and Kevin was still standing there looking like an angry father holding a hairbrush. Not that Jake had much experience with angry fathers. Or fathers at all for that matter.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Kevin asked.
Not liking the scrutiny Kevin was giving him, Jake decided transferring blame was his best bet. "He accused me of being the mole first."
Kevin sighed and shook his head. He reached out with his free hand, grasped Jakeís upper arm, and turned him to the side so that the younger man was facing the bathroom wall. Then he said calmly, "Raymondís bad behavior doesnít excuse yours."
Even though Jakeís brain had practically been setting off alarm bells in his head that cried out ĎBeware, spanking immanent!í, it still came as a huge shock to his system when the backside of the brush came in contact with his backside. The loud pop on his right ass cheek made his hips automatically jerk forward.
"Ah," a startled little yell escaped his lips, and then another pop landed on the left side. He hissed in pain, but was at a complete loss for words. This could NOT be happening to him. This had to be some horrible dream that heíd wake up from any second now.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Kevin asked again, keeping a firm hold on Jakeís upper arm, when the younger man tried to lean away.
After a longer than usual pause, Jake said tentatively, "You canít spank me?"
Looking irritated, Kevin pursed his lips and shook his head.
Once the words were out of his mouth, Jake nodded in approval of his own statement. "Thatís right." He sounded more sure of himself with every word. "You canít spank me. Itís assault. I can arrest you for it. In fact, I am arresting you for it. Youíre under arrest forÖ Ah!" His hips jerked forward again with the swat, and he tried a little harder to get his arm out of Kevinís grasp, only to get smacked again. "Ow!"
When he couldnít get free, he put both his hands back to cover his rear end. "I said you canít spank me." Even he could hear the plaintive whine in his tone.
"But clearly I can, because I am," Kevin countered. "I sincerely doubt youíd want to write up a report about getting spanked by your Captainís husband, so you can stop with the threats of arrest."
Jake winced as he thought about Amy, Rosa, and Gina all snickering about it for weeks. Charles would be sympathetic, but TerryÖ Jake grimaced when he realized Terry would probably think this was a great idea, and might employ it himself if he thought he could get away with it.
"Now," Kevin said firmly, "you can either move your hands, and keep them on the wall in front of you until Iím done, or I can take you back to the study, sit on the couch, and put you over my knee until Iím done."
Flushing bright red, Jake immediately moved his hands back to the wall.
"Thank you. Now Iím going to ask again. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Jake had no idea what he was supposed to do in this situation. "Iím sorry?"
"Thatís a very good start," Kevin said with approval. "Now what are you sorry for?"
"Iím sorry forÖ accusing Captain Holt of being the mole?"
"Yes, you should be. Brace yourself, Iím giving you six for that."
"Six what? Ow! Oh, six, I get it. Ah! But thatís not fair! Ow! I saidÖ Ow! I was sorry! Ow! Jeez that reallyÖ Ah! Öfreakin hurts!"
"What else are you sorry for?" Kevin asked, as he paused the swats.
"If I tell you Iím not sorry for anything else, will you stop spanking me?"
Two more swats landed in answer.
"Okay, okay!" Jake said with a hint of annoyance, "Iím sorry I pointed out that Holt was insubordinate to Wuntch, even though it was true!"
"You, young man, are insubordinate on a daily basis." Kevin swung the hairbrush twice before continuing. "Pointing out the one time that your captain slipped up, after all the times he has overlooked your bad behavior, is uncalled for and unjustified. Especially in his own home after he invited you in, worked the case with you all night, and even gave you the guest pajamas to wear."
Jake nodded rapidly and opened his mouth to agree, but then the brush was smacking him again and again, and all that came out were yelps. By the time the sixth smack landed, Jake was having a hard time staying still. He balled his hands into fists against the bathroom wall and said, "Iím sorry! Really! It wonít happen again!"
As soon as the smacks stopped, there was a loud pounding on the bathroom door, making both Jake and Kevin jump.
"Kevin?" Holtís voice rang out.
"Oh, crap," Jake muttered to the wall. He closed his eyes and hung his head in embarrassment. It was bad enough that Kevin of all people was spanking him, but now Holt knew about it. How the hell was Jake supposed to look him in the eyes ever again?
Kevin gently pulled on Jakeís arm to turn him back around, and then let go. "All done," he said, before turning to open the bathroom door.
Jakeís hands both immediately went to his butt to rub out the sting, and even though he wanted to keep his head down and hide his shame, his eyes automatically went to the doorway against his will. He watched Holt calmly take in the scene, while Kevin re-crossed his arms and gave Holt the same seriously displeased expression heíd given Jake a few moments ago. His detective mind quickly put two and two together, and then he shook his head. He never wanted to have that thought in there ever again.
Holt seemed to take the expression in stride and gave Kevin a seriously displeased look of his own. "Did you just assault my officer?"
"No, I gave him a well-deserved spanking."
Jake tried not to groan with embarrassment.
"Thatís the very definition of assault, Kevin, and youíre well aware of that fact." Holt turned to Jake and said, "If you want to press charges, Iíll arrest him myself."
"No!" Jake rapidly shook his head. There was no way in hell he wanted any of tonightís events to ever leave this house.
Kevin said with irritation. "Iíve told you time and time again that this new generation of young adults not only need to be held accountable, but on a certain level they want to be held accountable. I see it every day in my students."
"Yes," Holt countered, "but you donít spank your students to hold them accountable, you give them bad grades, and then make them redo their work."
"Donít be obtuse, Raymond. Jake isnít a student, heís a member of your work family. Heís held to a different standard." Kevin looked over at the younger man and said with some exasperation, "Come here," he pointed to a spot on the floor in front of him with the hairbrush, "and stop rubbing your bottom. Youíre a grown man for goodness sake."
Jake snatched his hands away from his ass, and took a step back, away from Kevin and his hairbrush of doom.
"Youíve frightened him," Holt accused.
Kevin rolled his eyes, stepped up to Jake, and grasped his arm again.
"You donít need to spank me anymore! Iím sorry!" Jake said quickly, covering his ass again, but instead of being turned to the wall and smacked, he found himself being pulled into a strong hug.
"Youíre all right now," Kevin said in a soothing tone as he rubbed Jakeís back. "Youíre forgiven. I told you it was all done, and I meant it. No more spanking, but I do expect you to learn from this and behave respectfully when youíre in our home. Is that clear?"
Jakeís head was spinning. Kevin was hugging him? Kevin had said he was forgiven? Kevin had said he was part of Holtís work family? It was all too much. He felt his eyes tearing up, but there was no way in hell he was going to cry all over Kevinís pajamas. He nodded and even though the words yes sir were on the tip of his tongue, he refused to let them out. Instead he gave the older man a barely respectful, "Yeah, itís clear," while squirming to get out of his grasp.
Kevin let go, and turned to his husband. "Give the boy a hug, Raymond, and tell him heís forgiven."
"What?!" Jake shook his head and backed up against the wall. He could barely take a hug from Kevin without breaking down, there was no possibility of getting a hug from Holt without sobbing his eyes out like a five-year-old, and that was not going to happen. "Nope. Not necessary. I totally get it. I was disrespectful, I got punished, and now Iím forgiven. Itís all very, very clear. No time for hugs, because I need to get home and start that suspension, right Captain?"
Holt and Kevin exchanged a look, which Jake didnít quite understand, but then Holt was stepping forward into Jakeís space. Jake winced and turned his head to the side. Instead of a hug, he felt Holtís hand gently squeezing his shoulder. "Just to make it abundantly clear, I forgive you, too. And I also apologize for accusing you of being the mole. I was frustrated and tired, but thatís no excuse for making ridiculous allegations that were hurtful."
Unable to believe his ears, Jake turned his face back and looked into Holtís eyes. He saw nothing but honesty in them, and a warm feeling of happiness grew in his chest, which quickly clogged his throat with pending tears. He saw Holtís other arm moving to pull him into a hug, and his body reacted without forethought. Ducking under Holtís arm, Jake rushed past both men, and out the bathroom door. He yelled back over his shoulder, "Apology accepted. Thanks for the hospitality, but Iíve got to go."
Jake could hear them calling for him to come back, but that only made him speed up. He was out the front door and down the porch steps within seconds. He rushed to unlock his car door, half expecting one of them to try chasing him down the street. He plunked down into the car, and yelped with surprise as his sore ass came in contact with the seat. Whining, he shifted in the chair to get as comfortable as possible and shut the car door. He saw Holt opening his front door from his rear view mirror, and immediately turned the car on and started driving.
Once heíd turned the corner, and felt Ďsafeí from the emotional upheaval that had threatened him, he thought back over his last words and scowled. "Thanks for the hospitality?" he muttered. "I got spanked, and then thanked them for the hospitality." Sighing, he shook his head, shifted in his seat again, and said, "Great job, Jake."
As he drove home, he tried to block out the entire spanking event along with the subsequent emotions that it had brought out, and forced himself to focus on the case. He thought about all of his co-workers, and very suddenly knew without a doubt that none of them were the mole. Suspecting them was just as bad as suspecting Holt. Jake did know these people, and there was no way any of them would betray their Ďwork familyí as Kevin had put it.
Once that thought was sealed in his head, Jake very suddenly realized who the mole actually was. It was the Internal Affairs officer Miller, working with Holtís nemesis Wuntch. Grinning at his own detective skills, he almost turned the car around and went back to his captainís house. But a twinge of pain as he shifted weight in his seat made him rethink that.
He wasnít quite ready to face Holt again, and he was going to avoid Kevin like the plague for at least a month. Instead heíd go home. Heíd take a look at his ass in the mirror, maybe have a cry in the shower while thinking about his own fatherless childhood, and then firmly repress the memories of doing either of those things before heading to the precinct to tell Holt what heíd figured out in a spank free, and more importantly, a hug free zone.
(Feedback makes me happy.)
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