A Hazzard County Christmas Eve
Jessie Duke had seen many a Christmas come and go in his lifetime but this one had to be one for the record books. He looked around his farmhouse and there were all his family and friends and a few surprises. Bo and Luke were in the living room helping Daisy and Cooter. They had decided this year to start a toy drive for the children's orphanage in Hazzard. He had to admit that all four had worked long and hard. He himself had been whittling and had whittled small horses and birds until his fingers had almost bled. The kids were planning on delivering the toys after supper.
And of course Roscoe and Flash were here to celebrate the holiday. Flash was playing with a small rubber ball that Daisy had given him for his Christmas present. Well not exactly playing, with Flash it was more like him lying on the floor with it between his paws. But there was no doubting that he had liked it. Daisy had been gonna wait for morning to give it to him but Roscoe was so excited that they had given in and opened it early.
But all of those guests were like family and usually spent every Christmas with the Dukes. The surprise was currently sitting at his kitchen table watching him baste the turkeys. Jessie had been completely caught off guard when J.D. Hogg himself had shown up this morning with four turkeys and a car full of gifts in tow. Apparently Lulu had gone to her sister's house after she and J.D. had a bit of an argument. So for whatever reason he must have decided that old friends and enemies are better than being alone on the most sacred of all holidays.
"Well Jessie, are those delectable birds about done yet?" Jessie shook his head at J.D. and continued to set the table for dinner.
"And did you make that oyster stuffin that we had last Thanksgiving because that was just divine!"
Jessie said that he did and thought that only in Hazzard would someone spend every waking moment trying to foreclose on your mortgage and then show up for holiday dinner. He looked into the other room and now both Flash and Roscoe were asleep and the kids looked as if they were just about finished wrapping the toys.
"Don't they look beautiful Uncle Jessie?"
He wrapped his precious niece in a warm hug. "You all sure done a good job and a wonderful thing here. They's lots of children who's gonna have a wonderful Christmas causa what you done. I'm proud of the lot of you."
Both of his nephews stood up and walked over for a hug. Cooter stood further back and waited. "Well you come over here too son. You worked as hard as any one did."
Cooter accepted his hug and blushed. "Thanks Uncle Jessie."
"Well I ain't your Uncle Jessie but you are most welcome."
"Jessie I swear those turkeys must be done right soon they smell like a little bird sized slice of heaven."
Jessie rolled his eyes and figured that they would all be lucky if'n they even got any turkey with J.D. around. "Daisy I'm gonna be needing a hand in here Darlin right near soon are you bout done."
They had all gone back to wrapping and were now doing the VCR tapes that had been donated for the children. Bo picked one up and laughed. "Look here Luke it's the Wizard of Oz. I loved this movie."
Luke laughed and nodded his head. "We went to see it at the movie house nigh on ten times. I was sure when you was little if I heard you say 'I don't think we're in Kansas anymore' I was gonna strangle you."
Bo just looked like it didn't find that funny and smacked Luke on the arm. "And your little dog too."
Jessie laughed when he heard Luke actually groan. Daisy stood up and walked into the kitchen. "I think the fella's can handle the rest Uncle while you and me put the finishing touches on dinner."
Before long the table was groaning with four turkeys, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes and all the rest of the trimmings. Cooter woke Roscoe and Flash up and they all joined the table held hands and said the prayer. Jessie knew that day after tomorrow J.D. would go back to his old ways and Roscoe would spend every waking second chasing the boys but for this one moment they were a family.
Jessie had been right with his guess about J.D. and several times during the dinner he reached over and pinched Bo under the table for snickering at the amount of food one human could eat. Finally dinner was done and the table was cleared and Daisy brought out the punkin pies that Jessie had won blue ribbon after blue ribbon with. It was an old Duke family recipe and with a touch of whipped cream it was darn near perfect. They placed the slices on the plates and Bo added a dollop of whipped cream to each. They all took bites of the pie and the room was silent save for the sound of fork against plate and the sighs of satisfaction as everyone devoured their pie.
"Uncle Jessie I think that this is the best dang pie that I have ever eaten."
Jessie smiled at Cooter. "Why thank you son I'm glad you like it."
They all turned to J.D. who was shaking his head. "No, no, no Jessie I think this is actually just a little tad dry."
Bo and Luke turned to J.D. with fire in their eyes. "You see here now J.D. my Uncle Jessie makes the best punkin pie in the entire state of Georgia!"
Bo felt a hand on his arm and looked over at Roscoe. "Well I don't know bout that son but if'n anyone knows their pie it's my little fat buddy here."
Jessie looked at his nephew and put a hand on his knee under the table. "It's all right Bo; maybe he just doesn't like punkin pie that's all."
J.D. vigorously shook his head. "Why I love punkin pie Jessie, but this here punkin pie is not exactly the best that I have ever had is all."
As if to add his own commentary Flash barked from his spot under the table. J.D. pushed his plate away as if it wasn't even fit to eat.
Bo stood up and pushed his chair back. "Well maybe what you need is a little more whip cream!"
And with that he took the spoon and placed a fair sized dollop of the white gooey stuff on the end of Boss's nose. Cooter and Luke immediately started laughing and Roscoe hid his chuckle behind his napkin. "Look Boss you done been decorated for the holiday."
Now everyone was laughing except Uncle Jessie and Boss. Jessie handed Boss a napkin and stood up. "J.D. I'm right sorry bout my young'uns actions just then. Please accept our apologies."
Cooter, Daisy and Luke's laughter was cut short by the look Uncle Jessie gave them.
"Well we'll just get started on these dishes, right Daisy." Daisy nodded her head and she and Luke started clearing the table. Cooter also stood up.
"Ya know Boss I got a apple pie that I brought out on the porch, maybe that would be better." The mechanic went to retrieve his pie while Boss wiped off his face.
"Well now Jessie that's all right the boy was just funnin I guess." Jessie shot Bo a look that would have sent paint to peeling.
"Bo don't you have somethin to say to our guest?" Bo looked like he would have rather eaten a shoe than apologize but he mumbled "I'm sorry Boss."
Within seconds the fat businessman had a quarter sized slice of apple pie on the plate in front of him and was once again happy. Roscoe and Cooter went to start loading the gifts into the back of Jessie's pick-up while Daisy and Luke continued to do the dishes.
"Beauregard would you like to come out to the barn and help me feed the chickens."
Every Duke in the room knew dang good and well that the chickens had already been fed. Luke looked over to Bo with an 'I told you so' look and Bo sadly said "yes sir."
The walk to the barn was quiet and Uncle Jessie went over to a bale of hay next to where his rifle was propped against the wall and motioned for his nephew to come over. "Uncle Jessie I just can't believe. I just can't believe that you are going to spank me?"
Jessie patted his lap. "Well believe it because it's going to happen."
Bo shook his head as if that would stop what was about to happen. "But I didn't mean
I swear can't you reconsider this?"
Jessie thought for a moment and shook his head. "No."
"But it was only whipped cream and you don't like Boss either and you grew them punkins in that pie yourself."
Jessie was already prepared with the answer. "Don't matter none son he is a guest in our home and we owe him some respect for that. Now cause it was only whipped cream you can keep the jeans up this time. I swear boy before I git you raised up I ain't gonna have no feelin left in my hand at all."
Knowing that there was no way out Bo leaned into the familiar position and immediately the stinging swats began. Before long he was doing the dance that he always did on Uncle Jessie's lap to try and dodge the swats. And he knew that if his Uncle didn't stop soon he was gonna have to give in and cry but luckily the swats stopped coming. He felt Uncle Jessie pull him to his feet and give him a hard hug. "Now that was just foolish and we both know it. No more- do you understand me young man?"
Bo nodded his head. "I love you young'un but honest to heaven you just wear me plumb out."
Bo was rubbing his behind and they both walked in the direction of the house. "All right then let's us get back to our holiday. And I have one request for you Bo."
Bo looked to his uncle with puzzlement. "What's that Uncle?"
Jessie looked at him long and hard. "I want to go one whole week without having to whup your behind."
Bo looked doubtful "a whole week?"
Uncle Jessie sighed. "All right then tomorrow is Christmas how about one day at least."
A dazzling grin broke across Bo's face. "Now that sounds possible."
And with that he walked over and joined Luke and Cooter by the truck. Jessie looked heavenward "If'n I get that one raised up right Lord that will be the Christmas miracle."
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