Author's Note: This story is the result of an RPG (roll playing game) between me and my good friend Jenna. I am playing Justin, and Jenna is playing Brian. This story takes place in season four right after Brian's cancer goes into remission, and he's starting to regain his strength and feel better.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, and I am not making any money from these stories.
Warning: Non consensual disciplinary spanking of an adult by a romantic partner. Graphic slash.

Cancer Secret

Justin had a satisfied smirk on his face as Brian drove them back to his loft. He'd just given Brian a blowjob in the backroom of Babylon, but it wasn't just any blowjob. It was the first time Brian had been able to get it up since his surgery. That thought got Justin to thinking about Brian's surgery, and what an ass he'd been about it. He lost his smirk and looked over at Brian. Brian was much too happy to be 'normal' again to notice the shift in Justin's mood.

Justin had been worried about Brian for weeks, and because of that worry, he'd pushed aside his hurt feelings about what Brian had done. But now that Brian was back to normal and fully functioning, Justin let those feelings come out. And by the time they were getting close to the place he shared with Daphne, Justin had an idea. He looked at his watch and then said to Brian, "It's two-thirty in the morning. Daphne is probably asleep already. Do you mind if I spend the night with you?"

Brian turned his head towards Justin a devious smirk played across his face, "It'll cost you, but I think we can work something out," he joked as he shifted his car out of second and sped past Daphne's house heading back to his loft. He had all kinds of plans for Justin now that his body was no longer betraying him.

Justin couldn't help but smile back at Brian as he thought, 'That was easy.' It was a quiet ride back with Justin absorbed in his own thoughts about the past few weeks and what he was going to do about it. They arrived at Brian's building, and once they were in the elevator going up to his loft, Justin leaned in and started kissing him.

Brian pulled Justin in close returning the kiss. The moment only grew more heated as the elevator made its way up to his loft. By the time the doors had opened, Brian, who was not quite ready to go out of the elevator, used his own body to push Justin's up against the elevator wall. It had been too long since he'd felt his natural sex drive, and now that he was feeling better, he was hungry to have Justin in as many ways as possible. As Brian kissed Justin, he flipped Justin around to face the elevator wall whispering in his ear, "Feeling slightly exhibitionist tonight? The thought has crossed my mind to take you right here and now; at least for the first time tonight."

Justin thought his plan would work better if Brian was a little tired, and thought some quick sex in the elevator would be just the thing. Brian may have been feeling good again, but Justin knew his stamina wasn't back to normal yet. While working on getting his jeans undone, Justin said, "When am I not feeling exhibitionist?"

He felt Brian kiss the back of his neck. He moaned in response and leaned into the kiss while thinking it was good that this fit with his plan, because he couldn't have said no even if he'd wanted to.

Brian grinned broadly reaching into his pocket for a rubber, and after ripping the plastic off with his teeth he murmured seductively, "Oh I don't know, over the couch… in the shower… on the bed… do I really need to give you a play by play?" Before Justin could respond, Brian thrust deep into him eager to feel Justin's tight body enveloping his cock.

Smiling at Brian's words, Justin was going to answer, but his words were cut off as a low moan of pleasure erupted from his throat as Brian slid inside him. He put one hand back to cup Brian's ass, and wrapped his other hand around his own hard cock to jerk off in time to Brian's thrusts.

Brian hammered into Justin like an ocean wave crashing on the shore. Brian pumped in and out of Justin as he reached around sliding one arm around Justin's waste while the other snaked under Justin's arm to leave Brian's hand to grip Justin's shoulder for better leverage. Their bodies became slick with spent perspiration, and by the time Brian was done, both men were panting as they collapsed against the elevator's wall.

After a second to catch his breath, Justin turned his head around and smiled at Brian. "Not bad, but I think we can do better."

Brian's brow arched, "Oh really? Well lead the way el Capitan," he said with a big smile. Brian's muscles strained as he pushed himself up off of Justin and the wall. He was already a bit tired from the exertion, but he would never admit this of course. Brian Kinney wasn't one to show weakness if at all possible, and he played it off by grabbing Justin and spinning him around so he could lean against the wall to recover his strength a moment while he and Justin kissed.

Returning the kiss, Justin waited until Brian pulled away first. Then he pulled his pants back up, and shoved at Brian's chest gently to get him moving. As soon as they were in the loft, Justin said, "I'm gonna take a quick shower, unless you want to join me, I'll meet you on the bed in a few minutes." hoping Brian would lie down and doze off.

Brian thought a shower sounded great after a night going dancing at Babylon and two orgasms, so he responded, "A quick shower sounds good," He smirked coming in close to snag another kiss from Justin before stating, "You can always suck me off again," And then almost as an after thought he added, "Maybe afterwards we can order us a late night pizza since I sure the fuck don't feel like cooking anything." Brian was a bit tired and hoped to relax and recover while they waited for the pizza to arrive, that is saying he made it that long before passing out.

Justin didn't think Brian should be eating that kind of crap late at night while trying to recover. He said, "Pizza? Yuck. Why don't you take a shower first, and I'll see what you have in the house. I'll make something, and we can eat when you get out. Then I'll take a shower."

Brian rolled his eyes, "Yes mother," he spat sarcastically even though the truth be told, he preferred Justin's home cooking any day to a greasy pizza. Without another word, Brian ambled into the bathroom and started the shower. By the time he was finished, he was feeling ten times better. Brian walked out of the bathroom to the sweet smells and sounds of Justin's cooking; he grinned inwardly feeling lucky to have Justin care so much for him. He toweled off and sat on the edge of the bed. As he sat down and let his body become still, his exhaustion once again made itself be know. He sighed in agitation at his weakness opting to lie down in wait for the wonderful aromas coming out of the kitchen to become a tangible plate of tasty morsels. He knew Justin would bring him some when it was done, so he took in a deep breath and let his heavy eyelids fall.

As he cooked, Justin couldn't stop his mind from going over what Brian had done when he found out about his cancer. They way he'd gone to such great lengths to keep it hidden. He thought about Brian kicking him out at the first sign of sympathy and care Justin had shown. And the thing it all boiled down to in his mind was the fact that Brian was too proud and egotistical to ever let himself be taken care of. They'd had that talk before in fact. Justin had been annoyed and complained that Brian always had to be the one in charge, the one in control, the one on top, and Brian's answer had been to flip Justin around to face the wall so he could 'be on top'.

Justin lips formed a thin line in irritation about that now, even though he'd thought it somewhat funny at the time. He planned to force Brian to accept him as the top for one night. He knew it would piss Brian off, but Justin was pissed too, and he knew if he tried to talk to Brian about it, Brian would just blow his concerns off. Brian wouldn't be able to ignore what Justin had planned.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Brian was out of the shower, and without being obvious about it Justin kept half an eye on him. Pleased when he finally saw Brian lie down, Justin finished putting together some corkscrew pasta with some tuna, fresh tomatoes, and basil. He put some on a plate, thinking his shower could wait until after he had confronted Brian.

He brought the plate into the bedroom and set it on the nightstand next to the bed along with a fork. Frowning at the towel bunched up next to Brian on the bed, Justin thought Brian must have been more tired then he was letting on if he wasn't putting his towel away before falling asleep. He considered just letting him sleep, but knew for his plan to work, Brian would have to be tired and decided to go through with it.

He picked up the towel and put it on the floor, and walked over to the closet to look in Brian's stash of rarely used toys. He found the pair of padded handcuffs near the top, but had to dig for the key. He unlocked them and put the key on the floor right next to the box for easy access later. Then he looked through Brian's ties, found one that he'd never seen him ware, and pulled it down. He walked back to Brian, who was lying on his side, and hoped Brian would be groggy when he woke up. He set the tie down on the nightstand, took a deep breath, and lay down behind Brian on the bed. As gently as possible he put one side of the handcuffs around Brian's right wrist and locked it in place while kissing his shoulder and keeping one hand on Brian's upper back. Then he said, "Time to eat, sit up."

Brian distantly heard Justin's call for him to sit up and eat as his eyes fluttered open. Even though it was only about fifteen minutes, the rest he received had a positive effect giving Brian the surge of energy needed to go another round with Justin. He felt the soft kisses trailing up his shoulder and smiled contentedly. He went to turn and face Justin, and it was then that he realized his wrist was cuffed. He responded in surprise, "What the? Cute Justin. You know I don't play the submissive role, but if you're so intent on playing with the handcuffs, I can lock you up and fuck you until you beg me for mercy."

Feeling a little surge of irritation at the words mixed with trepidation at what he was going to do, Justin hoped that the element of surprise would be enough. He forcefully shoved Brian face down on the bed and straddled him as quickly as possible, so that he was sitting on Brian's butt and lower back. He still had one hand tightly gripped on the open cuff, and used his other hand to pull Brian's free arm back behind him. The cuff clicked into place, and Justin said, "We can do that tomorrow. Tonight's a different story."

Brian was shocked at the lightening speed in which Justin had just manhandled him. But his shock turned quickly into agitation as he felt Justin cuff his other wrist behind his back. Brian growled, "Alright you had your fun, now take these fucking things off me Justin; I'm not in the mood for this shit."

Fairly pleased with himself, Justin stayed on top of Brian, and reached over for the tie that he had left on the nightstand. Once he had it in his hand he said, "Not in the mood?" He scooted himself up on his hands and knees while still straddling Brian, and slowly trailed his tongue from Brian's lower back all the way down to the crack of his ass. "What can I do to put you in the mood?"

Brian didn't like not being the one in control. It made things unpredictable and left him feeling vulnerable. Brian scoffed, "For starters, you can remove the cuffs. Then we can talk about that tongue of yours and the several uses I have for it."

Sighing, Justin told himself that he had known this wasn't going to be easy when he started. Brian hadn't started to really fight yet, probably believing Justin would do what he asked. Justin turned around so that he was still straddling Brian, but now was looking at his feet. He sat on the backs of Brian's knees, hoping it didn't hurt, but wanting to keep him in place if he started to really fight. He looped one end of the tie around Brian's right ankle and tied it on.

Brian figuring that Justin just wanted to still play sighed in concession, "Fine, you want to play? I'll let you tie me up, but if you do, you'll be hand feeding me like a Caesar since I'm starving," he joked.

Justin smiled and found himself getting a little turned on by Brian agreeing to let him tie him up. He brought the foot he had just tied up to his mouth and kissed it. "I'd love to feed you."

Setting that foot down, Justin picked up the other foot and tied the other end of the tie around that ankle, leaving about six inches of wiggle room between the feet. Once Brian was tied, Justin got off him and sat by the edge of the bed. He picked up the plate of pasta and the fork, and waited to see what Brian would do.

Brian's flesh broke out in goose bumps as Justin tied his other ankle up, and oddly enough he was finding himself curious in spite of himself to see where Justin planned on going with this. As Justin picked up the plate of food, Brian rolled on his side to the best of his ability. He gave Justin a smug smile as he mused, "You are loving every minute of this aren't you?"

Justin's face broke into a huge grin. "Yes." He set the plate down, put a few pillows up against the headboard, and helped Brian to sit up against them. Picking the plate of food back up, he held a bite out for Brian to take.

Brian's own grin also grew as he replied, "Well you know, payback is a bitch." He then leaned forward and hungrily took the offered bite of food.

Instead of commenting Justin put the next bite of food in his own mouth and offered another bite to Brian. He kept them both busy eating for a few minutes while he thought that over. By the time the plate of food was gone, Justin had decided he didn't care if there would be payback involved. He fed Brian the last bite and put the plate down on the nightstand. Once Brian had swallowed, Justin got up on the bed and straddled Brian again, this time staying on his knees and facing Brian so that Brian had to look up to him. He put both hands on the sides of Brian's face, tilted it the way he wanted it, and kissed him. After a few seconds he broke it off, looked down into Brian's eyes and said, "Ready to play?"

Feeling more compliant now that his stomach was no longer needing attention, he replied sarcastically with a smile still played across his face, "At the moment I don't see myself having much of a choice."

"Good point." Justin put both hands on Brian's shoulders and pushed him gently to the side. Once Brian was laying on his side, Justin got off the bed and walked to the foot of the bed. He grabbed the part of the tie that was between Brian's feet and pulled. Brian's body slid towards him until Brian's feet were near the end of the bed, and he was flat on his stomach in the middle of the bed with his head about a foot away from the headboard.

Justin walked back around to the head of the bed, leaned over and whispered in Brian's ear, "First we'll try a little trust experiment. You stay right where you are, close your eyes, and wait for me."

Justin got up picked up the plate and headed into the kitchen while keeping an eye on Brian to see what he would do.

Brian's eyes followed Justin into the kitchen more curious then ever. After a moment he turned back around and closed his eyes like Justin had asked. He thought about what Justin could be up to, and his first thoughts trailed back to Justin's exploring tongue which brought a devious smirk, but then his mind drifted back to Justin's last words about 'a little trust experiment' and he wondered what that could entail.

Surprised and pleased that Brian was being so compliant, Justin went into the kitchen and put their plate on the counter. Next he looked through the utensil drawer and found the black plastic spatula that was flat, because he was pretty sure if he didn't use it, his gimp hand would be too sore to draw with for a couple of days by the time he was done with Brian. He stuck it upside down into the back pocket of his pants, and then went to the refrigerator. He rifled around, found what he wanted, and headed back to Brian. He walked around so that he could see Brian's face and said, "Keep your eyes closed and open your mouth."

It took Brian a little effort to keep from opening his eyes to take a peek at what Justin had in store for him. He assumed he must have been getting some silverware by the clanging of dishes in the drawer followed by the opening and rummaging in the refrigerator. His mind returned to the memories of Justin feeding him ice cream and having the cold drops fall down onto his chest where the boy had instantly leaned down to lap it up with his equally cool to the touch tongue. The thought made him start to grow hard again as he opened his mouth wide to accept Justin's surprise.

Smiling at the compliance, Justin put a chunk of strawberry that he'd dipped in sugar in Brian's mouth. He watched Brian chew for a second and said, "You did very well. Now scoot your knees under your body so that your beautiful ass is up in the air."

Brian swallowed the bite of strawberry licking the grains of sugar off his lips. He let out a small chuckle thinking Justin sounded so cute trying to be authoritative. Brian kept his eyes closed and his smirk never left his face as he spread his legs out as wide as the tie binding his feet would allow and pulled his torso on top of his legs before letting his chest slide back on to the bed to leave his ass positioned high in the air for what Brian figured would be easy access for Justin's tongue.

Feeling himself get completely hard at the sight of Brian doing what he asked, Justin wondered why they'd never done this before. Then he remembered why he was doing it now, and wondered if maybe he should just let it go. He looked over at the front door and remembered Brian shoving him out. He remembered going to Brian's office and Brian yelling at him for daring to question the supposed trip Brian was going to take. No, he wasn't going to let it go.

He looked back over at Brian and decided one more bit of fun before things got serious. He got up on the bed behind Brian and put both hands on Brian's hips. He trailed his tongue slowly from the top of Brian's ass all the way down the crack to the sensitive skin around the tiny hole and pushed his tongue in. He slid it in and out slowly, hoping Brian was enjoying it as much as Justin had when their roles had been reversed.

Brian's breath quickened feeling Justin's talented tongue hit all of his sensitive nerve endings. As Justin expertly maneuvered his tongue, Brian's cock began to get harder, and he moaned softly in appreciation. As Justin continued, he spread his legs far enough out that his cock was able to rub on the soft sheets below. He desperately wanted to touch himself as the pleasurable sensations Justin gave him sent his mind reeling. When he could take it no more he grunted out, "You're so good with that tongue. I'm close to cumming; jerk me off."

Justin stopped what he was doing. He lightly swatted Brian's right butt cheek and said, "You're not in any position to give orders."

He swatted the left side and said, "As a matter of fact, we're going to change your position, and hopefully make things a little more clear for you."

Justin pulled Brian's legs out from under him so he was laying on his stomach again, and moved to the side of the bed.

Brian eyes shot open growling at the denial to his pleasure. He sucked in a breath his body stiffening a bit at the slight sting from the two swats that Justin delivered. His annoyance only grew as Justin pulled his feet out from under him as his words sunk in. Brian was no longer enjoying playing this game thinking Justin was getting a little too dominant for his taste, so he replied, "I'm always in the position to give orders. And, I think it's time for me to make things clear for you. Take these cuffs off me, it's your turn."

Justin shook his head. There was some truth to what Brian said. He was always in the position to give orders. But that was the problem. He'd been the one giving orders for so long that he'd forgotten how to accept help from anyone. "No."

He climbed up on the bed, lifted Brian's hips in the air long enough to put his left leg under Brian, set Brian back down so that his hip bones were right on top of Justin's thigh, and lay his right leg on top of the backs of Brian's thighs. He gave Brian a swat that was harder then the other two had been.

"What do you mean no?" He responded quizzically as Justin adjusted him over his thigh. He hadn't thought to fight at that moment still too in shock that Justin hadn't simply acquiesced to his demands. When the harder swat fell, Brian's body twisted arching up and to the side as quickly as a snake rising to strike. He gave Justin an incredulous stare, "What the fuck? I said I'm done playing you little twat. This isn't fun anymore, so you need to get these fucking restraints off." The determined look plastered on Justin's face had Brian feeling very uneasy; he was at Justin's mercy right now, and this fact made him both angry and nervous.

Justin smacked him again and had to admit he found some satisfaction in the way Brian's body jerked in response. He said, "I'm done playing too. This part is serious."

He smacked him again even harder and continued, "I'm sick and tired of you shutting me out the second you think you're not perfect."

He swatted again without pausing in what he was saying. "I'm sick and tired of your secrets and your lies."

He swatted harder still and then had to shake out his hand. "But mostly I'm sick and tired of you thinking that the world will come crashing down around you if you're not in control every second of every day."

Brian's brow furrowed in anger at Justin's words. What did he mean this part was serious? Brian's eyes were fixed on Justin in disbelief as he listened to Justin rattle off his transgressions wincing slightly as he felt the sting of Justin's palm follow each point made. Brian realized quickly that Justin really was serious, and in his current state of duress, that realization made him feel slightly nauseous.

Brian wasn't one to give up easily and surged forward in an attempt to escape Justin's grasp and regain some semblance of control as he yelled in retaliation, "If you're so sick and fucking tired, then why do you keep coming back for more?!" In an attempt to disarm and hurt Justin, Brian added, "I don't need you or this shit! Let me the fuck go now Justin!"

Brian succeeded in moving himself a couple of inches forward with his struggles. Justin put his hands on Brain's hips and pulled him back in place easily, even though Brian was struggling now. He pulled the spatula out of his back pocket with his right hand, and grabbed Brian's left wrist with his left hand to keep him from moving forward again. "I know you don't need me. I don't need you either, but I think we're both happier together then we are apart. And I keep coming back for more because I love you."

He snapped the spatula down on the right cheek of Brian's ass, and was almost surprised at how loud the slap sounded, and by the way it made Brian's whole body jerk.

Brian grunted angrily as Justin dissolved his efforts by placing his ass right back where it had been moments before. He continued to struggle against Justin but faltered noticeably, pausing in his struggles, at what Justin had said. He did feel the same way about Justin even if he didn't always know how to show it. He didn't fully understand how the boy could love him so much with the way he had treated him in the past, but he was Brian Kinney, and that was to be expected right?

These thoughts were cut off abruptly by the searing brutality the spatula delivered. His eyes bulged as the pain took Brian by surprise and he let out a yelp, "Ow! What the?!" He had been facing the top of the bed while he'd struggled, but at this new revelation he swiveled with the best of his ability to face Justin giving him an apprehensive glare, "Damn it Justin! Stop it! That really fucking hurt!"

Looking at the red spot where the spatula left it's mark, Justin said, "Stop? No I don't think so. We're just getting started."

He turned and looked into Brian's eyes. "You're not in control right now. I am, so stop making demands."

He looked back at Brian's ass and said, "This is for shoving me out the door when my only crime was showing you some concern."

Justin brought the spatula down again on the left side of Brian's ass, but didn't stop with one swat this time. He set up a steady rhythm of swats alternating sides as he spanked.

Justin's words made Brian's stomach tighten. 'Just getting started?! He can't be serious?' Brian thought desperately. Brian's head swam unable to deal with the fact Justin wasn't listening to him anymore along with the fact that the dynamic of their relationship had just done a 180.

And then the pain came, and it became more excruciating as the spatula reigned down too quickly to register each individual hit. Brian screamed out enraged, "Ahh! You little shit! Ow! OW!! I swear to god I'm going to kill you for this fucking shit!" He struggled in vein to escape the implement's kiss, but Justin had him pinned well enough where he wasn't going anywhere until Justin decided otherwise.

Upon realizing that Justin had no intention of bowing to intimidation, Brian decided it was time to go with another tactic as he quickly rattled off, "Okay! I get it! Ahh! For Christ's sake! OW! You made your point! I'm a real fucking asshole!"

Justin stopped for a second and said, "No that's not the point at all. Let's talk about your lying. We have an open relationship, which means we should be able to be honest with each other. But you lied right to my face about your supposed trip. And I wouldn't even mind your lying to me if it was for a good reason, but it wasn't. So why don't you tell me why you lied to me and everyone else."

Justin started spanking again to get Brian in the right frame of mind to answer honestly.

The constant sting to his rear was making it hard for Brian to focus on anything else, and all he knew for certain was that he wanted it to end. Brian's ego and the need to justify his actions to Justin currently weighed greater than the pain as he bucked violently and responded, "Lied! I didn't say anything because it was none of your business! Ow! Ahh! Ahh! I didn't want you doting on me like I was some kind of invalid!"

Justin was pleased at how easy it was to keep Brian in place throughout his struggles. He continued the spanking, snorted a disbelieving laugh, and repeated, "None of my business? What a load of shit. Try again." He gave Brian six harder swats in time with the words, "Why did you LIE to me?"

Brian's body stiffened rigidly, his back arching high as the harder swats peppered his ass. "Ow! OW! OWWOW!" He howled out in pain reflexively kicking his feet and franticly trying to cover his ass from Justin's assault. "Justin! Stop! STOP! Okay? Let's talk! I'll talk about whatever you want! Just no more hitting! Please? I, I can't think straight!"

Justin did stop. He wasn't used to hearing Brian say please for anything, and thought it was a step in the right direction. He also wasn't used to hearing Brian yell out in pain, and being the cause of it was making him feel somewhat ill. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves knowing they weren't done yet, and said, "Okay we'll talk for a second. Tell me why you lied to me, and don't give me that bullshit about me doting on you. I know you'd hate that, but that's not why you lied." As he waited for Brian to reply, he set the spatula down on the backs of Brian's thighs, and put his hand on his bright red ass to feel the heat there.

Brian collapsed on the bed taking a couple deep breaths to get himself under control enough to talk levelly again since all his screaming had made his voice hoarse. He was relieved that Justin had stopped using the dreaded implement; his ass was throbbing now, and he wanted to rub the sting away but Justin still had his wrists pinned in the middle of his back. Reminded of his loss of control again sent a pang of anger through Brian, but he dared not voice it for fear of Justin picking up where they'd just left off. He instead squeezed his hands into fists in an effort to cope with the pain as he thought over how he would answer Justin's question.

By the time he had the answer, it became difficult to say. He didn't want to admit that he was terrified of being seen as weak in the eyes of Justin and his friends; terrified that they wouldn't see him in the same light if they knew he was so sick. He had been impenetrable; never show them your Achilles' heel. He'd been taught that long ago by his father, and it had suited him well throughout his life. As long as he'd kept up the façade that nothing was wrong then there would be no need to question right? Did he really think that Justin was so shallow that he would have left him because of it? No. But he didn't want to chance it either. Several minutes had passed when he realized Justin was still waiting for an answer. He sighed despairingly as he answered softly into the bed sheets, "I… I didn't want you to see me like that okay. I was taking care of it, and I thought it was better for the both of us if you just didn't know."

Justin started swatting again with his hand, but didn't use as much force this time. He said, "Wrong answer. I believe that you didn't want me to see you like that, but you did NOT think it was better for BOTH of us if I didn't know. You only thought it would be better for YOU."

Brian yelped in surprise squirming involuntarily as the new barrage of swats landed. He hadn't expected Justin to start spanking him again, and he found that even though Justin was only using his hand now, his flesh screamed on contact still sore from its previous punishment.

Brian howled out, "Alright! OW! Yes! I thought it… Ahh! I thought it was better for me!" The pain was getting to be too much to take and no amount of wiggling, bucking, or maneuvering helped to ease or avoid it. The best Brian thought he could do now was to tell Justin what ever he thought Justin wanted to hear, anything to make the torture stop! "Ow! Fuck! Okay! Ow! I shouldn't have lied to you! OW! I'm sorry!"

Justin was surprised by the 'I'm sorry' and stopped again. He told himself that Brian being sorry was part of what he had wanted when he started this, and to finish what he had started. He picked up the spatula and said, "Okay listen up, because this is important. I love you being in charge. I love you being the top both in bed and out. Tonight doesn't change that. But your refusal to admit you need help sometimes needs to stop. Needing help doesn't make you weak, and showing me a moment of weakness isn't going to make me see you as less of a top," having said that, Justin started spanking again with the spatula.

Brian was glad for the break from Justin's hand, but he cringed inwardly at Justin's words. Had he really been that transparent and bull-headed? He had needed Justin no matter how much he hated admitting it. Justin was right; Brian knew this just as he knew that showing Justin any kinks in his armor would let the boy in closer. Was he ready for that?

Brian's thoughts froze as he felt the spatula being removed from on top of his legs. He spun his head back around to face Justin a feral panicked look in his eyes as he shook his head no. The spatula didn't stop but instead met its intended mark again and again. The realization that this wasn't going to end until Justin had felt his points had been made brought tears to prick Brian's eyes as he pleaded with Justin, "I said I was sorry! Ahh! Ow! What more do you want from me!?"

Justin kept his eyes focused on his target and kept spanking. He knew if he saw Brian's face, he would probably stop before they were really done. He said, "I want you to be honest with me, and tell me why you dealt with your cancer the way you did, and why it's so hard for you to accept help."

As the swats kept landing, the tears that had sat still standing in his eyes cascaded down Brian's face as he moaned out miserably, "I Ow! I don't know! Ahh! It's hard to… Ow! Ow! Justin please! No more! No more! Owwww! I can't!" Brian turned away from Justin in defeat unable to struggle any longer as he crumpled down over Justin's thigh letting the tears flow freely as he whimpered, "I… I was scared… Ahh! …scared to let anyone that close to me because… Ow! Because it means..." He trailed off unable to speak anymore as he sucked back a sob his body shuddering slightly in an attempt to keep himself emotionally intact. 'Because it means acknowledging someone really cares about me and having to admit that I care about them to,' he mentally finished the sentence.

Feeling close to tears himself at hearing Brian's crying Justin really wanted to stop the spanking. But after hearing Brian admit that he had been scared, Justin knew he couldn't let that sentence go unfinished. He gripped the spatula harder, slowed the swats down, and put more force behind them which left little dark spots on Brian's ass that would soon turn to bruises. "Because it means what?"

Brian cried out, "Because it means you care about me! Ahhh! And I don't know how to show you I care! Okay? Oww! Ow! Ow! I'm sorry I lied to you! Stop! Justin please!" Brian buried his face into the bed as his feet kicked involuntarily from the harder swats; he couldn't hold back the sobs any longer as the mix of pain and emotional turmoil came to a boiling point.

Justin felt a swell of love for Brian as he admitted what Justin already knew. He gave him six more swats after he heard Brian's sobs, and then tossed the spatula to the floor. After a few seconds to let Brian catch his breath and realize the spanking was over, Justin took his right leg off Brian's, lifted Brian's hips as gently as possible, and got his left leg out from under him. He lay on his back on the bed next to Brian, propped his head up with a pillow, and pulled Brian into a hug with Brian's head resting on Justin's chest. He said quietly, "I know you care."

Brian had gotten a handle on his tears, but at Justin's words, the tears spilled down his cheeks anew. He lay on top of Justin's chest each breath hitching involuntarily unable to look Justin in the eye as he whispered, "Will you take these cuffs off me now?"

Justin thought it was a good sign that Brian was asking instead of telling, but had a twinge of nervousness at the thought of taking the cuffs off. The image of letting a wounded lion out of it's cage came to mind. He couldn't help but wonder if Brian would be angry and strike back, or worse, toss him out for good. But he couldn't keep him locked up forever, and really he didn't even want to. He much preferred it when Brian was the one calling the shots. Justin kissed the top of Brian's head and said, "Sure."

He moved out from under him, went down to the end of the bed, and untied Brian's feet. Then he went to the closet, got the key, and undid the cuffs. He set the cuffs and the key on the nightstand, and stood next to the bed slightly wary and unsure if he should try to get close or not.

The first thing Brian did when the cuffs were removed was to reach back and tenderly rub his very sore bottom; he could feel the welts rising from the bruised flesh. He saw Justin out of his peripheral standing timidly out of arm's reach; Brian sighed as he glanced up momentarily before returning his gaze back to the bed remarking softly, "I'm not going to retaliate against you," he sighed deeply before continuing, "I may not agree with what you did… but I guess I understand why you did it."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Justin quickly stripped, wanting to feel Brian's skin against his own, more for reassurance then anything else. He got into bed next to him, kissed Brian's shoulder, rubbed a hand on Brian's back, and said quietly, "Thanks."

When Justin climbed next to him, Brian was unsure how to react. He felt like he should be angry or hateful towards Justin; cast him away from him like he had so many times before. But somehow he couldn't bring himself to do it; the anger was gone, and what was left was a sort of calmness that left him more clear headed than he'd been in ages.

Now that the ordeal was over, the exhaustion he'd felt previously hit him like a wave, so Brian reached up to the top of the bed and grabbed a pillow for each of them to rest on. He was amazed that Justin would go to such lengths to prove that he loved him even at the possible cost of losing him. Brian admired that, and to set Justin's mind at ease, he gave Justin a small smile as he threw his other arm around Justin's waist drawing him in closer to him. He stared into Justin's eyes a slight hint of wonderment dancing behind his own. He knew deep down that he didn't want Justin to go away; Justin had made him admit that. It was a good feeling to feel loved, and Brian realized there was nothing he wanted more right now than to know that he would wake to Justin's warmth and beautiful smile greeting him.

Justin felt the rest of the tension about the night leaving his body as he saw Brian's smile and felt Brian pull him close. They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, and Justin could see the love Brian felt for him, even if he couldn't say it. Justin could see Brian was tired. He had been tired before they even started, and the spanking had been physically and emotionally draining for both of them, but more so for Brian. Justin kissed Brian gently on the mouth, and then lay down on the pillow he had provided and closed his eyes to get some sleep.

Brian's eyes fluttered tiredly as Justin leaned in to kiss him. The smile never left his face as he inhaled deeply to take in Justin's sent as Justin's lips pulled away from his own. He watched Justin close his eyes the dull glow of the nightstand light softening his tired expression. There were no words left to be said that hadn't been said already. Content in the comfortable silence they shared, Brain followed suit bringing his head to rest below Justin's chin, closing his eyes, and drifting off to sleep as well.

Justin opened his eyes a crack and could tell from the sun shining into the living room that it was late morning or early afternoon. He looked at Brian's sleeping face and thought about the night before. It seemed almost unreal. He thought to himself, 'I spanked Brian?'

He leaned his head up to take a look at Brian's butt. Justin winced in sympathy and muttered to himself, "Ouch."

Brian's eyes blinked sleepily upon feeling the bed move and Justin sit up. He heard Justin's mutter and wondered himself about the damage that had been done. He really didn't want to be reminded, but from the soreness that still radiated from his sit spot he assumed he'd be reminded for the better part of a week. Luckily he had his own office and wouldn't have to be seen standing the majority of the day... on second thought, calling in seemed like a better plan. After all, it was his business, and he didn't have any major accounts that would demand his attention today.

Brian silently fumed. He knew why Justin had felt the need to spank him, and he also knew, regrettably, that Justin had been in the right for doing it. Brian never would have listened to Justin's concerns otherwise. But it still struck a chord with Brian to have any fault of his own pointed out, especially when it resulted in any form of chastisement for his actions. These revelations made him frown, and he decided that he wasn't quite ready to face Justin again, so he closed his eyes and feigned to still be asleep intently listening for what Justin would do next. He hoped Justin would go to take a shower, so he could inspect his ass more closely without being observed doing so. The last thing Brian could stomach right now was the embarrassment of Justin seeing him inspect his handiwork and having Justin know that it still bothered him, and he definitely didn't want to give Justin any reason to strike up a conversation about it. He knew Justin would likely feel horribly guilty about the fact he'd caused him so much pain. Thinking of Justin's troubled expression caused Brian's frown to lessen into an almost smile as he considered Justin probably cared more than enough for the both of them combined.

Justin lay looking at the ceiling for a few seconds wondering what would happen now. Would Brian be pissed? How would things go back to normal now that this was between them? He looked over at Brian and saw his expression change while his eyes were still closed. Justin frowned and thought, 'He's never done that before. Is he that embarrassed about it? Does he just want to avoid me because he'd rather be alone, or because he hates me now but is too tired to toss me out?'

Feeling even guiltier then he had the night before; Justin got up and muttered quietly, "I'm taking a shower."

Brian felt Justin climb off the bed and walk towards the bathroom. He opened his eyes in time to see him disappear through the door. Justin sounded sad, and Brian conceded that was worse than his feeling sorry or embarrassed for himself. He sighed picking his chest up on his elbows and swiveled his head around to see the aftermath of last night. He cringed at the sight; his ass was a mass of red angry welts with a tinge of bruising. He reached back tenderly touching the seared flesh and hissed at the sting that still emitted there.

He heard the shower start up and thought of Justin leaving moments before and knowing by his tone that Justin had felt unsure of where their relationship now stood. Things had definitely changed, but not in a bad way. Brian knew it was up to him to fix things between them now, so he rose out of the bed making his way towards the bathroom.

Justin had started to soap himself up as Brian watched him from the doorway curiously. As he watched him, he began to get hard. Following his urges, he quietly stepped into the shower behind Justin coming up behind him to trail kisses tenderly up the back of Justin's neck.

Justin wasn't paying much attention to his shower, moving mechanically and lost in his thoughts. Then he felt Brian behind him kissing his neck. Justin was so relieved at the gentle and forgiving touch that he had to take a deep breath to keep from crying. He leaned back into it until he felt an almost desperate and immediate need to be as close to Brian as possible. He turned, wrapped his arms around Brian's shoulders, and pulled him in for a hungry kiss.

Brian returned the kiss entwining his arms around Justin's waist. They pushed into one another asserting their sexuality like a game of tug of rope, their lips locking and only breaking away long enough to come up for air. It felt as if they were the only two people in the world, and the shower's cascading stream bouncing off of them was like confetti celebrating their reunion. Brian's cock twitched growing harder loving the feel of Justin's slick smooth body rubbing against his own. He pulled out of their kiss long enough to give Justin a cocky grin before he remarked, "Now that you had your turn having control," Brian reached over grabbing a condom off the shower soap dish, "I think it's about time I got the reins," his smile grew ever wider as his eyes flickered with decadent thoughts, "That is saying that's all right with you?"

Beaming at Brian with a huge grin, Justin opened his mouth and almost gave him an eager yes, but then stopped himself. He paused for a second and scrutinized Brian. Then he smirked with raised eyebrows, and asked in a seductive tone with a hint of a challenge, "And what are you going to do about it if I say no?"

Brian chuckled as he backed Justin against the wall leaning down to nip Justin's shoulder playfully before responding, "You know you can't say no to this face." He gazed down into Justin's icy blues a jovial smile spreading across his face as he continued, "Besides, it'll be your loss with the fucking I've got planned for that ass of yours."

Justin moaned and leaned his head back against the shower wall as Brian nipped at his shoulder. He trailed his hand slowly from Brian's chest all the way down Brian's stomach until he reached his groin. Justin wrapped his hand around Brian's hard cock, looked in Brian's eyes and said, "Well when you put it like that, how could I refuse?"

Brian's eyes followed Justin's skillful hand to his groin, and as Justin's hand grasped a hold of his member he grunted in pleasure leaning his head back and closing his eyes for a moment to let the sensation take full effect. Justin always knew how to manipulate his cock so well. This wasn't the way Brian would finish, and by the time he did, he planned on being buried to the hilt in Justin's tight little hole.

Brian pulled his head back down to face Justin smirking dangerously as he leaned in close to Justin's ear and whispered, "We're going to play a little game of Brian says," Brian licked his lips dissolutely before continuing, "The first thing Brian says is lick right here," he took a small step back tracing his index finger down his chest, circling his nipple, and trailing down to his cock that twitched in excitement.

Shivering in excitement as Brian whispered in his ear, Justin smiled in anticipation. Brian had been sick for a while now, and Justin was more then ready to make up for lost time. He followed the same line with his tongue that Brian had made with his finger, lingering a few seconds on the nipple to suck it before heading down and taking Brian's cock in his mouth.

Brian groaned in appreciation as he watched the boy take all of his cock in his mouth sliding up and down vigorously. His tongue rode circles around the sensitive tip and his lips sealed like a vacuum around Brian's cock as Brian kneaded his fingers though Justin's hair. Brian let him continue to suck him off until he was rock hard, and not wanting to waste his load in Justin's mouth he moaned out, "Brian says stand up, turn around, and face the wall."

Feeling Brian getting even harder in his mouth, and feeling Brian's fingers in his hair was more then enough to make Justin hard as well. The second the words were out of Brian's mouth, Justin complied. He leaned forward, putting his hands and face against the shower wall, and arching his back so that his ass was in prime position for Brian.

Brian gazed at Justin's beautiful ass as he ripped open the condom he'd been holding. Once he'd encased his hard on, he strode up behind Justin slapping his cock up on top of Justin's ass and sliding it into Justin's crack. He didn't penetrate but instead teasingly rubbed up and down against Justin's sensitive hole. As Brian did this he leaned his face against Justin's cheek stating seductively, "Spread your legs out for me."

Justin, impatient to feel Brian inside him, tried to shove his ass further back while Brian teased his hole, but didn't succeed in getting Brian's cock inside him. Justin spread his legs wide and said with urgency, "Fuck me."

Brian's arms followed Justin's ending with both hands intertwining together as Brian pulled backwards with his waist letting the tip of his cock find Justin's awaiting hole. He watched hungrily as his cock plunged into Justin. He started fucking Justin in a steady rhythm, slowly pumping his cock in all the way to the hilt and pulling it out to the tip so Justin could feel his whole length and girth.

The more he pumped, the faster his thrusts became until he was jack-hammering in and out of Justin so fast that the two became fluid motion like gears in a machine. Brian's brow beaded in exertion as he pushed his body in close to Justin using the wall to keep him in place as he leaned over Justin's shoulder to kiss up the side of his neck and bite lightly on his earlobe. Brian grunted in ecstasy, his pants becoming stronger as his propulsion in and out of Justin brought him closer to climaxing.

As soon as Brian was inside him, Justin reached a hand down to his own hard cock and jerked himself off in time to Brian's thrusts. As the momentum built, and they moved in time faster and faster, Justin closed his eyes and let the sensations take him over. A few seconds after feeling Brian nip his earlobe, Justin came hard spurting all over the shower wall. The rhythmic clenching of his muscles during climax pushed Brian over the edge, and soon they were both leaning against the shower wall trying to catch their breath.

Brian groaned loving the feel of Justin's ass milking the cum out of him, and after all the spasms on both ends had ended, Brian pulled out slowly. He turned Justin around to face him once more giving him a tired smile as he was still emotionally and physically exhausted. Brian pulled Justin away from the wall into his embrace kissing him on the forehead gently before casually remarking, "I've got to call the office and let them know I'm not coming in today. They've probably got the gist though since it's already well after nine." He leaned back to see Justin's face as his voice took on a sultry tone, "I was thinking of you and me, spending the entire day lounging in bed. We can go out to dinner tonight, and if you're up to it, Babylon later?"

Justin was feeling pretty good about last night now that the whole thing was over, and now that Brian seemed to be back to normal. He knew things could have very wrong, but they didn't, and he hoped that things would be better between them because of it. Smiling up at Brian, Justin said, "That sounds like the perfect day."

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