Author's Note: The story loosely follows S2E15. I was really sad that Charlotte/Mum disappeared so soon after everyone finally knew about the relationship between her and Lucifer. At least somehow ;) so my Muse wanted to do something about that. Careful, it ain’t short. It was written as a birthday present for a fellow writer.
Summary: Lucifer doesn’t want his mother to go on a date with Dan. He confronts her about it and an argument ensues.
Disclaimer : I don’t own any of these characters, and I’m not making any money from this story.
Warnings : Non-consensual spanking of an adult. I do not advocate this behaviour in real life, only in fiction.


“Don’t overthink it, Daniel,” Charlotte said lightly, winking at him. “It’s just coffee. I promise not to ravage you.”

Dan really didn’t know which angle Charlotte was playing with him. She had used him before to get information about a client to use in court. And he was still hurt about that. But then again, she was a really attractive woman and she seemed to like him – had even said so. And he liked her. Not to mention that the sex was great. Truly amazing. That woman was a wild animal in the sack and she kept coming back for more. So why should he not indulge in a little fun?

Charlotte had intercepted him at the precinct, just as he was about to call it a day, and now they were standing near the interrogation rooms talking quietly about their chosen café while his remaining colleagues watched with hawk-eyes. Charlotte Richards was a real looker and he could feel the envy of about every single male specimen in the room. He also noticed Lucifer lurking suspiciously nearby. It was very unlike the man to hang around after hours if he didn’t have an ulterior motive. The revelation about Charlotte being Lucifer’s stepmom had come as quite a surprise. But as he’d told Chloe: it did make a weird amount of sense. Lucifer’s awkward behaviour around her, the way he attacked him when he first heard that they’d had sex, Amenadiel and Lucifer’s competing over her. Although it was weird to hear them call her ‘mom’ (or in Lucifer’s case ‘mum’ in that annoyingly British accent) since she couldn't be much older than the both of them.

Suddenly noticing that he hadn’t answered the woman in front of him and that she was still looking at him expectantly, he finally nodded and was about to give a verbal response as well, when he was shoved aside none-to-gently.

“Can I talk to you for a second, Mother? – You’ll excuse us, Douche,” Lucifer interrupted in an annoyed voice. His tone instantly had Dan’s blood boiling – a sentiment that had become regular whenever Chloe’s partner was around. But this time it wasn’t because Lucifer was once again throwing insults at him (which was bad enough all in itself but he had somehow got used to it), but at the way he looked at Charlotte. He bit back the insult that was already at the tip of his tongue with some difficulty. He would try to be the adult in their little spar since it probably wouldn’t win him any brownie points with Charlotte if he offended her stepson.

“That is a very rude way to butt into a conversation, son. Daniel and I were just about to leave and get some coffee,” Charlotte chided softly while noticing with dismay the resentful look on Lucifer’s face. She knew exactly what her son wanted; they’d had several arguments about it already, but she had thought that he had given up. Apparently she was wrong.

Lucifer however did not pay his Mother’s chiding tone any mind. He had more pressing matters to attend to: preventing the budding liaison between Mum and Detective Douche. Of all the men she could have chosen, she chose him. It almost seemed as if she was actively looking for ways to make Lucifer’s life miserable. Well, he was about to put a stop to that.

“Yes, well, I’m about to save you – and me – from a very unpleasant experience,” he stated. “You may thank me later.” Dan snorted loudly, but refrained from getting in the middle of that argument. Lucifer turned his scorching gaze upon Dan for a few short moments before redirecting it to his mother, who returned it with a raised eyebrow.

“We’ve had this conversation before,” Charlotte said coldly. “And I seem to recall that I made myself quite clear on the matter.” A less stubborn – or smarter – man would probably back down at the look on her face, though Lucifer didn’t seem to be any of the above. Other than a slight blush, he showed no signs of being affected by his mother’s words.

“Mh-mh, but there are new developments that I think you should take into consideration,” he declared with conviction.

“Although you are free to express your opinion, son, it will not change my mind,” Charlotte said sternly. “This matter is closed, as I told you not 24 hours ago. And I told you what would happen, if you did not drop it. Whatever it is that you wish to express now, it will have to wait.” There was a finality and firmness in her tone that impressed Dan. He had never heard anyone talk to their pain-in-the-ass civilian consultant like that and he was curious to see how this conversation would pan out.

Truth be told, they had had this conversation before and she had outlined the possible consequences – incredibly unjust consequences they were – but Lucifer didn’t believe that she would actually follow through with it – at least not in public. And he planned to take full advantage of that fact.

“But it’s bloody madness,” Lucifer growled through clenched teeth. He really couldn’t understand his mother’s infatuation with someone as blatantly dull as Dan Espinoza. He knew that they had been having naked fun before, but somehow knowing that Dan knew that they were related made it a lot worse. He had tried several times to convince her of his point of view; had even had Amenadiel try his luck – but to no avail. (Although he suspected that his brother had been too much of a coward to confront her at all.) Their mother was adamant – no, stubborn! Well, it was just her misfortune that he could be equally stubborn. As some silly human idiom about a tree and an apple hinted at. “It seems this quest you are on is causing you to lose what was left of your admittedly small amount of good judgement.”

“Watch your mouth,” Charlotte warned. “I will not be insulted by one of my children.” She regarded him sternly. The countless arguments with Lucifer over the last few days were starting to seriously grate on her nerves.

“But I’m right,” Lucifer exclaimed loudly and Dan had to marvel at his display of courage – or stupidity. He was still indecisive which one was more fitting. However, he did not like the way the club owner was talking to Charlotte. “Frankly I’m baffled by your horrible taste in the opposite sex. First Dad, now him. I admit I have no plausible explanation for Dad, but I presume Dan’s constant proximity is affecting your common sense somehow. Although I fail to understand why you started seeing him in the first place! – Which reveals shocking parallels to your first marriage.”

“You really shouldn’t talk to your Mother like that,” Dan advised carefully, unable to stay out of the dispute any longer. He had been rather content being a silent observer, but as Charlotte’s eyes flared at Lucifer’s disrespect, he felt inclined to interfere – for whose sake, he couldn't decide yet. Lucifer was clearly taking it a step too far. His body language displayed anger and resentment, and having been witness to his outbursts before, Dan had become wary of his moods. Charlotte on the other hand looked as if she was no stranger to her stepson’s behaviour and would not shy away from giving him a piece of her mind – in no uncertain terms; so he also felt apprehensive for his safety. Because they were partners and Chloe would be sad – certainly not because he cared.

“Don’t you have anything productive to do? Paperwork perhaps?” Lucifer shot back angrily, diverting his gaze to Dan for a few seconds. His displeasure at the unwanted interruption was plainly visible on his face, but Dan refused to be intimidated. Lucifer’s demeanour did nothing to invoke Dan’s sympathy and help to get him out of this scrap with his Mother.

“That’s enough,” Charlotte’s sharp order interrupted their stand-off, as Lucifer’s eyes snapped back to his Mother and if Dan hadn’t been watching him with hawk-eyes, he might have missed the flash of worry in the other man’s eyes. “I’ve heard enough of your rudeness. You do not tell me with whom I shall or shall not go out, son. It’s just coffee and there will be no more arguments about this. – Do I make myself perfectly clear?” Dan could only watch anxiously. He didn’t like the look on Lucifer’s face one bit and he really hoped that he could control his temper. Charlotte on the other hand looked even more ravishing as she put her stepson in line – something few people were able to do.

“You’re right,” Lucifer agreed. “There won’t be because you’re not going. – I won’t allow it – nay, I forbid it.” Dan almost choked on his own saliva. He was pretty sure that his mother would have marched him to the nearest restroom for a mouthful of soap if he’d dared to talk to her this way. The look on Charlotte’s face was foretelling a very gloomy future for Lucifer however, so he had little doubt that she could put him in his place – and was about to do so.

Lucifer felt something akin to dread pooling in the pit of his stomach as his Mother regarded him with barely concealed anger. If he hadn’t made a habit of refusing to thank his Father for small mercies, he would throw Him a quick thank-you that they were in public right about now. With some difficulty he suppressed the urge to squirm and channelled his nervous energy into his fury about her silliness instead. It worked quite well, if he dared say so himself.

“Excuse us, please, Daniel,” she said throwing him a quick apologetic smile. “I need to have a word in private with my son.” Her eyes fell back onto said son; the expression on her face so furious, he wondered how Lucifer could remain so incredibly hard-headed and disrespectful. “Lucifer, in here.” She motioned for him to step into an empty interrogation room, but Lucifer stubbornly remained where he was.

“No. – It’s not right. I refuse to let you go out with him. I’m protecting you from another terrible mistake. Can’t you see that?” Also he really didn’t want to lose the relative safety of witnesses around.

“I really don’t want to embarrass you in front of your colleagues because for some reason you seem to seek their approval,” Charlotte declared with a tranquillity that Dan wouldn’t have thought possible since she looked about one step away from reeling her son into the room. “But if you don’t stop embarrassing me, I will assume that their opinion isn’t really that important to you and deal with you right here in front of them. – Now, for the last time, get in here!” Astonished Dan watched as Lucifer’s ears turned red, the only indication that his Mother’s threat was hitting home, and with a dark look on his face he stalked past her. “This will only take a few minutes,” Charlotte reassured him with a smile before following her son and closing the door firmly behind her.

Taking a deep breath, Charlotte watched her son with mixed feelings. Certainly she was furious with him for his display. She did not condone that sort of tantrum and had made certain her children had no doubts about what she’d do if they indulged in this behaviour. But then again, Lucifer had been without parental guidance for a long time, having been cast out of Heaven when he had been the celestial equivalent to a teenager. And apparently he had not mastered his emotions very well on his own. Charlotte blamed herself for that. Well herself and of course Lucifer’s Father.

Right now her son was seething. He whirled around to look at her, his expression full of pent-up anger. Charlotte wondered where it stemmed from. He’d been obstinate all week. She studied him carefully for a few moments, noticing with dismay that the dark lines under his eyes had got darker still and the strain in his facial muscles was more pronounced, combined with his overall haggard complexion, it did not make for a reassuring picture. He hadn’t been taking proper care of himself; and since Lucifer had difficulties reining in his temper on a good day, it was only magnified considerably whenever he felt tired – or hungry; a nasty side-effect of living on earth. She decided that it was time for Mother to step in and help. She needed him at the top of his game for their quest to return to Heaven – but first she’d address his attitude.

“You might as well have dragged me in here by my ear!” Lucifer exploded glaring at her. He had only wanted to nib this amorous affair in the bud because he despised the thought of his Mother being with Detective Douche. It made him shudder. But of course Mum had to get difficult! Even going so far as to scold him in front of everyone! Talk about taking a blow to his reputation.

“I will drag you out of here that way, if I have to remind you once more to watch your tone,” Charlotte retorted icily and Lucifer felt his face heating up in an enormous blush that stemmed from a mixture of both anger and embarrassment. He scowled at his Mother but his eyes kept darting to the door hoping that no-one could overhear his debasement. He hated his Mother’s ability to reduce him to a quivering child whenever she was cross with him. It did not suit his devil persona. But still here he was, fighting to remain stoic and not back down because his Mummy was giving him a scolding.


Dan knew that he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but his legs just wouldn’t move. He tried convincing himself that he wanted to stay close in case Lucifer lost control of his temper – maybe Charlotte would need his help. Then it would be better if he stayed close by. Yes, right, who are you trying to kid here? It was morbid fascination, plain and simple. He was mesmerised by the woman who was able to have the arrogant club owner bow to her will. Sure, Chloe could handle Lucifer and he listened to her – most of the time. But this was something else entirely. So he stood rooted to the spot, staring at a door and straining his ears to hear what was being said. They argued quite loudly. He could clearly make out Lucifer’s angry voice, but no words. His worry about Charlotte increased again.

“I heard them all the way over there in my lab.” Startled Dan whirled around only to come face to face with Ella. “It was like an accident. I just couldn’t look away. – Man, if I’d talked to my parents like that, I’d get more than an earful.”

“Yeah, same here,” Dan mumbled, but his attention was elsewhere. “Think he’ll hurt her?” Ella looked at him barely able to hide a smirk. Dan couldn’t see any humour in this. He was worried about Charlotte. Lucifer was freakishly strong.

“No, I don’t think he’ll hurt her,” Ella appeased him. They leant back against a desk, looking at the door in companionable silence listening to the faint voices without really understanding what was being said.


“Now, when’s the last time you slept, son?” Charlotte inquired, keeping her voice low. Despite outwards appearances she did not want to embarrass her son in front of these humans whose approval was for some strange reason important to him.

“We’re not here to talk about my sleeping habits,” Lucifer replied, but his Mother’s query did take the wind out of his sails somewhat. He had prepared himself for a shouting match, not her concern towards his health.

“When did you eat last?”

“How is that helping to prevent you from going out with Detective Douche?” he sneered and watched nervously as his Mother’s eyes narrowed.

“It doesn’t,” she answered finally. “It will however help me to decide if you need a proper meal and a good night’s sleep or if you’re being difficult just for the sake of it. In which case a trip over my knee will surely snap you out of this tantrum.” Lucifer couldn’t help fidgeting slightly and his stomach did a funny little nose-dive, but he made up for it by throwing Charlotte a scorching look. “Right now, I’m leaning towards the latter. – Answer my questions.”

“It’s none of your business,” Lucifer countered. He should probably mind his tone now that there weren’t any prying eyes around, but he was far too angry to care. Although he didn't know where this anger stemmed from; it had been building up constantly throughout the week – only magnified by his Mother’s mulishness concerning Detective Douche and her constant nagging about her ridiculous plan to return to Heaven. “I can assure you that I am quite capable of taking care of myself. – I’ve been doing it for a long time.”

“The dark circles under your eyes beg to differ,” she remarked advancing on her son to get a closer look. “You’ve lost weight as well. Both of which are clear signs of stress, or so I’ve read.”

“Please don’t embarrass yourself by pretending to care,” Lucifer scoffed rolling his eyes, although he knew how much his Mother hated it – or precisely because she hated it. It had been a sure way to get a clip around the ear back in the Silver City, if he remembered correctly. Truth be told, he was tired ... and hungry. But he wasn’t about to admit that to his Mother of all people. She would just insist to take him home and force him to eat and sleep. He was an adult and could handle his bodily needs quite well without Mum’s interference. Thank you very much.

“Lucifer,” Charlotte said calmly. “I am your Mother. Of course I care. – And don’t roll your eyes at me,” she added with a frown. “What is the matter with you today? You’re in an awful mood.” She took another step closer until she was standing right in front of her son, looking at him feeling both concern and exasperation. She didn’t try to comfort him with a touch; she knew he wouldn’t allow it right now.

“And as I’ve mentioned before,” Lucifer replied stonily. “My mood is not of your concern. – We were talking about your crush on Detective Douche.”

“No, we were not,” Charlotte shot back, her patience nearing its end. “We are talking about your childish conduct out there and if I do not see a change in both your behaviour and your tone, I will start smacking you.” She hoped that Lucifer would come to his senses and be contrite, but to her great sorrow, her son rolled his eyes at her a second time for today and was about to turn away in a childish display of rebellion.

Being quite fed up with his temper tantrum and very certain that she would not accomplish anything by continuing to talk to him calmly, she took his angled body to her advantage and grabbed his upper arm in a firm grip while she brought her other hand down in an exceptionally gratifying whack on his rear end. His outraged “Mum” did as little to curb her exasperation at his demeanour as his attempt to twist his butt away did to save him from a second equally sharp smack in exactly the same spot.

“Bloody hell, Mother!” Lucifer exclaimed shocked, eyes going wide. “We’re in public!”

“And I gave you fair warning that this would happen, if you did not stop this tantrum. Didn't I?” Charlotte replied, delivering a third stinging smack, before spinning her son around to face her, noticing with satisfaction that his resentment had taken a step back. Maybe now they could talk reasonably.

“I didn’t think you’d follow through with it!” he replied in indignation, trying to dislodge her grip, but she held him fast. He’d quite clearly underestimated her and wanted to get as much distance between them as the tiny room allowed, lest she decided he needed another reminder to behave.

“You should be grateful that I’m granting you the privacy of this room. Quite frankly it’s more than you deserve.” His face and ears blushed so brightly, Lucifer was fairly certain it lit up the room considerably.


Outside Dan jump up from his perched position in alarm. That had suspiciously sounded like someone hitting something – or someone! Twice! He was about to barge in there, when Ella held him back with a surprisingly strong grip on his arm. He whirred back to look at her.

“Let me go,” he demanded, but she held fast, even managing to pull him back.

“You really shouldn’t go in there.”

“But what if he hurt her? – You heard that, didn’t you?” The same sound rang out again and he looked at the door frantically, waiting for someone to... what? Come bursting out?

“I think you’re worrying about the wrong person, dude,” Ella drawled with a grin, drawing his attention back to her. He looked at her smirking face for a moment trying to make sense of what she’d just said. Worrying about the wrong person?

“Only Charlotte and Lucifer are in there,” he said slowly. “Who should I worry about if not Charlotte?”

“It’ll come to you in a minute,” Ella said, speaking with barely contained humour.

“What will come to me?” he retorted, feeling slightly annoyed. “Just tell ... oh!” And with a flash it dawned on him. Ella was right! It wasn’t Charlotte, he should worry about! It was Lucifer! Staring dumbfounded first at Ella then at the door before his eyes locked with Ella’s again, he could only gape. Could it really be true? Chloe’d said that she was his stepmom – not his real mom... but still. It did sound suspiciously like a smack – or rather three. “You think she’s,” he made a vague gesture with his hand, “him?”

“Do you have another plausible explanation?” Ella asked. He didn’t. Now that Ella had pointed it out. He sank back against the desk, thinking the whole situation through. He couldn’t believe that anyone would dare to do that to Lucifer of all people. Sure, he had a way to get Dan’s blood boiling in no time and he would be lying if he hadn’t thought that a good whooping would do the man a load of good – but for someone to actually do it? He needed time to process that. But then again, maybe he’d misinterpreted the sound. It really could have been anything what with the doors containing most of the noise. Maybe one of them fell down? ‘Three times?’ a small voice at the back of his head asked timidly, as he absent-mindedly waved Ella goodbye.


“Now, we will walk through these doors, you will apologise to Detective Espinoza –,” Lucifer opened his mouth to argue, but she was not about to let him get a word in between. Her patience had reached its end. “And you had better make it believable. - Then you’ll go home, where you will eat and sleep.”

“This is ridiculous, Mother.”

“And let me warn you, son,” Charlotte continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “If I see any more of this despicable behaviour once we’re through these doors, I will not care who is watching.” He cursed his Mother in several languages – only in his head of course, he wasn’t that stupid – for her obstinacy concerning her blasted infatuation with Dan and for the wicked sting her right hand had left on his rear. How could one hold a serious discussion if her go-to argument was inflicting pain on his poor bum? But he vowed that this particular debate was far from over. He’d find a way to sabotage their coffee date. He just needed to change his tactics because apparently his Mother couldn't be trusted not to smack him in semi-public. He would be apologetic, for now; there was a reputation to uphold after all.

The door of interrogation 3 suddenly opened and Charlotte gracefully entered the bullpen followed by a sullen Lucifer. Dan straightened immediately, scanning them quickly for any obvious injuries or other clues for what had taken place behind closed doors. He couldn’t detect any – not even a red cheek from a slap in the face. Which made him wonder where exactly Charlotte had slapped Lucifer – if she had slapped him at all.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at him, but kept his mouth firmly shut. He’d realised that his Mother didn’t make idle threats and he had no desire to be humiliated in front of a whole bunch of lawmen. Nevertheless he could not keep the scowl off his face as it was quite obvious that Dan had been listening the whole time. He just hoped that the heavy doors had muffled any sounds.

“Excuse that, please, Daniel,” Charlotte said with a smile and Dan nodded shortly his eyes darting between Charlotte and Lucifer.

“No harm done,” he said trying to lighten the mood.

“Lucifer,” Charlotte prompted looking at her son in expectation, one eyebrow raised in clear warning. Fortunately Lucifer did heed the earlier warning and, albeit with ill grace, said, “I was out of line. – Satisfied?” He turned to his Mother with a sneer on his face.

“It’ll suffice,” Charlotte declared without waiting for Dan’s reply. “Now, Daniel, are you ready?” Dan nodded slowly, watching Lucifer’s furious expression from the corner of his eye. He somehow doubted that this conversation would be over.

“Yes, sure,” he replied. “Let’s go.”

“Bye, son,” Charlotte said, looking back at Lucifer with a stern gaze. “Remember my words.”

Lucifer for his part forced a smile onto his face and watched them leave the precinct, anger boiling in the pit of his stomach. Altering his original plan (again), he suddenly felt a craving for a nice cup of coffee and some cake.


Charlotte and Dan had chosen a nice little table tucked into a corner of the small coffee place, enjoying each other’s company. Conversation flowing easily between them, although Dan couldn’t help but be curious about what had taken place behind closed doors at the precinct.

“I know it’s none of my business,” he started, throwing her a small smile. “But how do you do it?”

“Do what?” Charlotte inquired, returning the smile.

“Keep him in line.”

“Who? Lucifer?” she asked with a laugh and Dan nodded. She regarded him for a few beats before saying, “You have a child, Daniel.”

“Yes, I do,” he said, smiling fondly at the thought of Trixie.

“So I’m sure you know how parenting works. – I threatened to take away his electronics,” she told him with a wink. Barking a laugh, Dan shook his head slightly. “But let’s not ruin this afternoon by talking about our children.” She smiled at him again and Dan noticed that he really, really liked that smile. He was just about to agree with her, when over her shoulder he noticed someone entering the café. Someone they really didn’t wish to see here.

“That’s gonna be hard to do,” he told her instead, nodding towards Lucifer just as he pulled a chair up to their table and wedged himself between his Mother and Dan.

“There you are,” he greeted them in an awfully chipper tone, plonking down on the seat. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” Plucking a piece of muffin from Dan’s plate, he tossed it into his mouth, munching happily. “Mmh,” he hummed in appreciation to the fine flavour. “Cheat day, Daniel?”

“Son, what are you doing here?” Charlotte asked stonily having recovered from his sudden appearance faster than Dan.

“Well, what does it look like?” Lucifer said with a small chuckle. “I’m joining you for coffee.” He’d come to the conclusion that anger and resentment obviously weren’t the right way to go about this. Therefore he would pretend to be happy and engage in pleasant conversation. Mum couldn’t get angry with him for behaving like a gentleman.

“Oh, no, you’re not,” she contradicted, a sharp edge in her tone that involuntarily made Lucifer sit up straighter, although he tried to hide it behind a guileless expression. “I’m terribly sorry about this, Daniel.” She touched Dan’s forearm with a dainty hand, an apologetic smile on her face, before withdrawing and turning towards Lucifer. Who for his part had to fight hard not to recoil from her furious glare. Apparently Mum could get angry at him for gentlemanly behaviour. She should make up her mind already, he groused internally.

“Now, son, why are you here? Is there some kind of emergency?” she asked with calmness that Lucifer wouldn’t have found possible judging by the look on her face.

“Why, indeed, Mother, one could phrase it like that,” he agreed cheerfully. “I’m –“

“Daniel, I really hate to ask this of you,” Charlotte interrupted him, returning her attention back to her date since she had apparently already decided that whatever Lucifer was about to declare as ‘emergency’ really wasn’t one. “But it seems my son” A meaningful look was thrown at Lucifer “doesn’t seem to take my earlier promises seriously. Would you mind, if we postponed this?” The gloating look on Lucifer’s face upon hearing those words was however quickly wiped away by his Mother’s fuming glare. He wisely decided to celebrate his victory in silence – and without giving any outward sign of his inner festivities.

“Yes, sure, don’t worry,” Dan stammered already standing up, pushing his hands into his pockets uncertainly. This was not how he had envisioned their afternoon to go down. Damn Lucifer and his interference! He tried to keep the disappointment from showing, but Charlotte must have still caught it. She got to her feet, looking at him with a very forced smile.

“Walk me outside?” she asked softly and upon receiving a nod from Dan, motioned her son to follow them with a jerk of her hand and a terse order. For once he did so without arguing.

“You wait here for me,” Charlotte commanded Lucifer once they were on the sidewalk, pointing to a spot right next to the entrance of the café. “Do not move.” Dan kept out of the dispute and avoided looking directly at Lucifer. For one, he really didn’t want to see his smug face – he might punch him if he did – and secondly he didn’t want Chloe’s partner to see the hurt expression on his face. It would only give him something to gloat about and tease him with. As if the man wasn’t able to make every aspect of Dan’s life a laughing matter without much effort. He didn’t need any further ammunition. He had to admit that it didn’t hurt his ego to see Lucifer manhandled and commanded by Charlotte. Some humility would do him a load of good. Charlotte led them several steps towards his car in the small parking lot, out of Lucifer’s earshot.

“Daniel,” she started, touching his arm. “I really am sorry about this.”

“It’s okay,” he was again quick to reassure. “Kids, right?” he added jokingly, plastering a fake smile on his face. Charlotte saw right through it. She felt horribly embarrassed by her son’s behaviour. The sudden end of their date made her as angry and disappointed as Dan, but she now had more pressing matters to attend to. Putting her son in line and making sure that there would be no repetition of this childish and outrageous behaviour. She too forced a smile on her face.

“How about we’ll meet for dinner tonight at eight, if you’re available,” she suggested running her hand up his arm. “I know a lovely little restaurant. – I’ll text –“

“This is not what I had in mind, when I asked you to cancel your date!” Lucifer protested loudly as he approached. Apparently he still hadn’t learned to stay put, Dan thought wryly, already forming an apology to save Charlotte the pain of coming up with one later. However he wasn’t prepared for Charlotte’s sudden response to Lucifer’s interruption and was pretty sure he was staring open-mouthed at them as she whirled around to face Lucifer, bringing his advance to a sudden halt. She took a step towards her son getting right in his personal space and Lucifer, the self-assured club owner and constant thorn in Dan’s sight, visibly flinched. He honest-to-God flinched at Charlotte’s livid expression. And if that alone hadn’t been enough to make up for their ruined date, Dan thought, her hand seized Lucifer’s ear in a flash, pulling him down to her height, before hissing, “Which part of ‘stay put, don’t move’ was not clear to you?”

“Ow!” Lucifer complained lowly, covering his Mother’s hand with his own to either pry off her fingers or hide the fact that she was holding him by the ear. He really couldn’t be choosy in this situation. His eyes frantically swept the parking lot to evaluate if any other onlookers might be privy to his debasement, but gladly he couldn’t spot anyone except of course Detective Douche. Which was horrible enough all on its own.

The question obviously being a rhetorical one, his Mother turned back towards Daniel, murmuring in a sweet voice that stood in stark contrast to the unyielding fingers that still pinched his ear painfully, “I’ll text you the details,” before thankfully releasing his poor appendage. His own fingers immediately took up their place and tried to rub some feeling back into it, while his face burned with an almighty blush. He might have been rendered speechless for the moment, which of course he’d never – ever – admit to anyone. Looking at Dan he feared that the man had been struck by some kind of seizure.

“Yes, sure, no problem,” Dan stuttered. “Do you want me to pick you up?” Detective Douche had recovered from his short-term brain-death quicker than Lucifer thought possible.

“I’ll let you know,” Charlotte replied sweetly. “Lucifer, come along.” To underline her order, she grabbed her son by the upper arm and led him towards his car, leaving Dan to stare after them in astonishment.

“Why are you dragging me? Are you afraid I’ll get lost on the way to the car, Mother? I am quite capable of walking by myself,” Lucifer complained loudly halfway across the parking lot as he had finally found his voice again, trying to shrug out of his Mother’s grip. Dan was pretty sure Lucifer’s expensive dress shoes issued sparks on the concrete as Charlotte stopped abruptly, jerking him to stand beside her. Keeping his arm in a firm hold, she pointed a finger at his face in warning and noted with satisfaction that finally Lucifer was showing an appropriate reaction.

“I am very close to baring your backside right here to give you a preview of what’s waiting for you when I get you home,” Charlotte whispered furiously. “So I suggest you keep your smart comments to yourself and do not test me.” Without waiting for a reply she continued walking, towing Lucifer along. She would get to the bottom of this – quite literally.

Meanwhile Dan was wondering what on earth Charlotte had whispered to her son that had made Lucifer’s face blush so furiously and throw him a frantic look over his shoulder as he was dragged to his awesome vintage car.


The car ride to Lucifer’s penthouse was spent in silence. Charlotte had issued the order after taking his keys, along with a promise of further repercussions lest she be ignored, before starting the car, and Lucifer was sulking in the passenger seat. He didn’t dare antagonise his Mother for fear that she made good on her earlier threat to pull over. He was still angry and whole-heartedly against letting her go out with Detective Douche, but he wasn’t quite as dense as his brother believed him to be. He did know when to pick his battles and rein in his temper. He just rarely chose to do so. But he had obviously pushed Mum as far as she was willing to let him (and then some), and he did not wish to be humiliated in public – any more. So silence it would be. For now.

Charlotte on the other hand was still seething. She could not fathom why her son was so hell-bent on sabotaging her relationship with Detective Espinoza. For him to be unhappy about it, she could understand, but this downright disregard towards her wishes and orders was taking it a step too far. She’d make sure he remembered who the parent was. She would not be embarrassed like that again. Preparing herself for the oncoming battle, Charlotte pulled into Lucifer’s private parking, waited for her son to join her next to the car and dragged him towards the elevator.

Lucifer followed his Mother – not that he had much of a choice given her iron grip around his arm. He should probably feel alleviated that she didn’t grab for his ear this time.

He wanted to get to the relative privacy of his penthouse to continue his quest of sabotaging her date with Detective Douche. He assumed that she must have calmed down by now. Therefore he would present her with his well-chosen arguments again until she saw reason. She would realise that he was right, praise him for his insight and apologise profusely for her earlier uncalled-for treatment of him. He, of course, would accept her apology in a grant gesture of mercy and advise her to consult with him before rushing head first into a possible romance. That would be his desired course of their upcoming conversation. Of course nothing was ever easy with his Mother and he prepared himself for a lengthy discussion. And if this plan failed, he could always stall her until she missed the date.

“All right, Mother,” he started, walking ahead of her into his apartment and throwing his suit jacket onto one of his armchairs. “You have got me here in the privacy of my home. – Now tell me, what do I have to do to keep you from going out with Daniel tonight? What strikes your fancy? What do you desire?” He turned his best puppy-eyes onto Charlotte. He knew that his gift didn’t work with her. What parent would grant their child the ability to draw out their deepest and darkest desires? That would just be plain stupid. And while his parents certainly were a lot of things, stupid wasn’t one of them. Charlotte only chuckled in response to her son’s query. That was a good sign, Lucifer decided, it meant no immediate threat to his backside.

“I’m your Mother, Lucifer,” she stated. “I do not strike deals with you. Do not mistake this for a negotiation. I will meet Daniel later tonight. End of discussion.” She threw her son a meaningful look, as he took a seat on the couch in precaution.

“But it’s madness!” Lucifer exclaimed. “I am merely trying to prevent you from making a terrible mistake!”

“You are not responsible for my choices, son,” Charlotte replied. “And do not try to fool me into thinking that you are doing this out of concern for me. – You don’t like Detective Espinoza. That is the only reason you’re trying to interfere here.”

“Of course I don’t like him!” Lucifer exclaimed loudly, a sudden bout of anger making his eyes flash. There goes my plan of calmly discussing this, Lucifer thought wryly. “He fucked my Mother!”

“Watch your mouth!” Charlotte warned.

“It’s like you’re missing the part of your brain that is responsible for choosing a mate. Did your time with Dad cloud your judgement this much? Seriously, Mum, how many men do you need to fuck before you finally develop some kind of radar to filter them?” Without another word Charlotte got up from her seat on the couch and stalked towards the bathroom. She had heard enough of Lucifer’s insults and bad attitude for one day. An adjustment of said attitude was definitely in order and she planned to do a thorough job.

“What are you doing?” Lucifer called after his mother. Had he won this argument? Where did she go?

“Looking for a hairbrush,” Charlotte replied and Lucifer could hear her rummaging around in his bathroom.

“Your hair looks fine, Mother.”

“It’s not for my hair, son.” He heard her say followed closely by a satisfied exclamation. She must have found the hairbrush she had been looking for. Watching her closely as she re-entered the room, a tight ball of dread formed in his stomach. Judging by the expression on her face, she was not going to brush her hair – or his. No, she planned to use it as a weapon! A heavy-looking, wooden weapon, perfect for her intended course of action. Involuntarily he scooted back on the couch. Funny how his Mother making threats did nothing to make him heed her many warnings, but as soon as she made the first move to follow through on them, he wished that he’d shut his mouth back when it would have done him some good. Or stayed home instead of following her to the café.

“You’ve sprouted enough insults for one day,” Charlotte stated while approaching her son with quick strides. She noted with satisfaction that there was an appropriate level of apprehension showing on Lucifer’s face. She hefted the brush in her hand, slapping it lightly against the palm of her other hand. The sturdy hairbrush would serve her well – it reminded her of the little ‘helper’ she’d used in the Silver City, whenever her children’s misdeeds deserved something heavier than her hand.

“Yes, I’m sorry about that,” Lucifer said quickly. The brush looked as if it would carry a mean sting. Maybe he still had a chance to wriggle out of that one. “Call it a slip of the tongue, if you wish. – No more insults, I promise.”

“That’s good to hear,” Charlotte replied. “Stand up.”

“What? Why?”

“Do you really need me to spell it out for you, son?” she said coming to stand next to him. “Up.” She underlined her command with a wink of her hand. Lucifer on his part tried to put a little more distance between them and made no move to follow her order.

“No, I’m … Mum, this is not right!” Lucifer protested. “I am not doing anything wrong here! I just want you to see reason!” Charlotte grabbed him by the sleeve of his dress shirt and pulled lightly. He followed her direction, telling himself that she’d ruin his shirt if he resisted.

Not doing anything wrong?” Charlotte repeated incredulously, while Lucifer watched in trepidation as she sat down in the spot he’d just vacated, placing the enormous hairbrush next to her. Why had he bought it again? When he’d admired its immaculate design and solidness, he certainly hadn’t thought about it being used as a possible weapon. This situation was steadily getting out of control. “I’m more than willing to show you the many errors of your way today, son.”

“This is ridiculous, Mother,” he exclaimed. “It’s a child’s punishment! – I am an adult. Adults do not get punished like children. – In fact, it’s not even good for children if you believe the experts.”

“Parents have spanked their children since the beginning of time. – You should know. You were there. – It must be good for something if it stuck around for so long.”

“Opinions change!”

“Well, mine hasn’t. – Take down your trousers,” Charlotte ordered, looking at her son both expectantly and sternly. She was done playing games. She’d given him enough chances to correct his attitude. He chose not to, so he would pay the piper.

“Mum! No!” Lucifer exclaimed hotly. “What is wrong with you?” He hastily stepped back trying to get himself out of range in case Mother chose to ‘help him along’. “Adults are not spanked! – Well, sometimes they are, but that’s for pleasure!”

“Stop procrastinating. Your trousers. – Or do you want me to do it?”

“I most certainly do not!” he spluttered in indignation. “Have I not made myself abundantly clear that we were discussing a different matter here? Your infatuation with Detective Douche? Remember? We were talking about that.” Quick as a flash his Mother shot out of her seat and snatched him by the belt. She pulled him forward forcefully as she retook her seat, until he stood right next to her knee.

“I have had enough of your defiance and your attitude,” she stated as she unfastened his belt with nimble fingers, using her son’s shock to get the task done quickly. “You have embarrassed me enough today. This temper tantrum ends now.”

“Mum, stop that!” he said angrily trying to pry her fingers of his clothing. Her only response was to grab the hairbrush and whack it down on the side of his left thigh. “Yeoch!” he yelled loudly, jerking his leg to the side away from the sharp pain while his hand immediately went for the spot she’d hit to rub at the sting. Charlotte used her son’s momentary distraction to finish her task of removing his trousers, yanking them down his legs, before grabbing Lucifer’s arm and pulling him forward across her left knee. She quelled his attempt to roll off her lap by wrapping her arm firmly around his waist and clamping his legs between her own. A move perfected a long time ago.

When rolling off her lap proved futile, Lucifer tried to push himself up and he thought he’d done a remarkably good job of it, until he felt the brush descending onto his poor posterior.

“Ow!” he yelled, delaying his attempt to get out of this embarrassing situation for the moment to throw his hand back to shield his butt from further harm. “Mum, stop!”

“Remove your hand,” she ordered calmly while bringing the brush down expertly on the other cheek. He did. But only to resume his attempt at pushing himself up. “And settle down, son. You are not getting up until I’ve finished.” Tightening her hold on her squirming son, she smacked the brush down firmly a couple of times in quick succession.

“Why are you so freakishly strong?” Lucifer asked still fighting to push himself up and off his Mother’s lap. It was infuriating beyond belief that she could hold him down without much effort. He was the Devil! He should not be overpowered by his Mum! But his feet couldn’t find purchase on the ground due to his awkward positioning over her knees and her elbow pressed down onto his back, keeping him exactly where Mum wanted him. He tried bucking off her lap, but that only resulted in far more vicious smacks.

“I’m not. – You’re just not resisting very hard,” Charlotte replied and dealt out the same number of swats to the other cheek. “Now, hold still. You’re only making this harder for yourself.” Realising that his struggle was in vain, Lucifer settled to concentrate on enduring this ordeal in silence. Well, not complete silence. He’d still argue his case.

“This is wrong on so many levels, I don’t even know where to begin!” he groused, his hands balling in anger. The brush hurt! And Mum was just beginning. “You are aware of that, right?”

“You’ve been acting out all week. – Now you got what you asked for,” Charlotte stated, not acknowledging her son’s comment in the slightest. She whacked the brush down again, spacing the smacks to let every new one sink in before following it with another. All the while closely watching his reactions.

“I am not ‘acting out’! And I never ‘asked for it’, as you like to phrase it! Every time you say that, I keep wracking my brain to remember when exactly I ‘asked for it’. – Ow! Want to hear my result?” As his Mother set about setting his backside on fire, he crossed his ankles to keep himself from kicking his feet. It hurt pretty badly already, so he channelled all his energy into his anger.

“Not necessarily, no,” Charlotte replied.

“I didn’t! – I never ask for this! I mean who would? It’s bloody unpleasant!” He scrunched up his face as a particularly hard smack fell onto the crease where butt met thigh, suddenly immensely grateful that Mum had left his boxer briefs in place.

“Ah! Mum, it hurts!” he complained loudly, hitting the floor with his fist. It was an entirely awkward experience hanging head down over her lap, his forehead almost touching the rug. He felt ridiculous, childish and incredibly angry. Meanwhile Charlotte continued her onslaught, peppering his backside with well-placed swats.

“Do we need to talk about the reason that landed you in this situation?” she asked after a minute of relentless smacking. It was taking all of Lucifer’s considerable willpower to stay quiet and hold the treacherous tears at bay.

“I’m not stupid!” he yelled furiously. “Of course I bloody well know! OW!”

“Then you also know that your behaviour is still leaving much room for improvement,” Charlotte stated, delivering a volley of sharp smacks to the undercurve of Lucifer’s butt. “And until I hear an apology for your embarrassing conduct today and see a change in your behaviour that indicates contrition, I will continue.”

“You must have lost your mind, Mother!” Lucifer groused angrily, renewing his attempt at pushing himself up. He could no longer suppress grunts of distress whenever the brush fell. “Aah! – Bloody hell! – Let me up!” His demands fell onto deaf ears. Charlotte just tightened her hold around his waist, her arm pinning him down and continued.

“Settle down, son,” she ordered calmly. “Or would you like to lose your underwear as well? Maybe a little humility will make you realise how embarrassing your behaviour was for me today?”

“No!” he yelled in mortification, but despite better judgement increased his struggle to get away. It hurt! In his opinion this barbarian treatment was still vastly unjustified and he refused to break down, admit defeat and beg his Mother’s forgiveness. He was in the right here!

“All right,” Charlotte stated, putting the implement down on the couch within easy reach and started to tug down his briefs. As expected, her son’s struggle increased still, his hand flying back to prevent her from baring him.

“NO! Mum, stop it!” he protested furiously, twisting and turning in her hold as far as he was able to, but he couldn’t avert the inevitable and soon his briefs were bunched somewhere around his knees. He had not the slightest idea of how she had managed that while maintaining her iron-tight hold on his legs. Must be some kind of parental superpower, he didn’t yet know about. Doling out a quick, sharp smack to his bared backside, she ordered, “Calm down, Lucifer.”

“No! This isn’t right!” he groused, still thrashing around, without gaining even the slightest improvement to his situation. His face burned in mortification and he desperately hoped that no unannounced visitors would barge in. Mum smacked him again with the flat of her hand and, bloody hell! It hurt so much worse on bare skin! Drawing in pained gasps and suppressing a high-pitched squeak as she rained down a flurry of swats, he tried again to twist his butt out of her line of fire, but to no avail. Her punishing hand found its target again and again and the pain was steadily building up to an unbearable level. A shuddering breath left him as he finally realised that he wouldn’t go anywhere if Mum didn’t allow it and he settled over her knees. Hitting the floor angrily with his fist, he hung his head in shame, and resigned himself to his fate.

Charlotte could see the shift in his posture as he realised the limits of his choices. He slumped miserably, helplessly frustrated and she patted his back once approvingly before picking the hairbrush back up and resting it lightly against Lucifer’s butt, checking the rosy cheeks for signs of bruises. She had no intention to harm her son and was immensely happy that he seemed to have settled down and was accepting his punishment. Smacking the brush down more lightly than before, she took notice of Lucifer twitching at the new sensation. His resistance seemed to be broken and Charlotte allowed herself a small sigh of relief. She rained down a few more smacks.

“Ow, Mum! It hurts more this way!” The complaint left his mouth before he could stop it and he blushed in response, but made no more attempts to get away other than the slight squirming that went along with this sort of punishment.

“And that is entirely your fault, Lucifer,” Charlotte replied, alternating cheeks while her son twisted his butt from left to right to avoid her ministrations. His breathing was decidedly heavier and his shoulders heaved both from the exhaustion of his earlier struggle and the building pain in his hindquarters.

Lucifer felt his eyes sting with unshed tears and he rested his head on his forearms pressing his fingers to his eyes. The pain was growing steadily and he seriously regretted making this whole ordeal so much worse for himself. His legs seemed to move on their own accord, ankles crossing and uncrossing in a vain attempt to alleviate the sting in his backside. He jerked his hips from left to right as far as his Mother’s strong hold allowed but all proved futile. She wasn’t relenting and the wicked brush kept finding its target.

“Mum, please stop. I’m sorry for embarrassing you,” he begged hoarsely, disgusted at himself at the same time. “It hurts plenty with your hand. You don’t need to use that … thing.” The tears finally spilled over as a particularly sharp smack caught the underside of his butt. And as the brush fell onto that part of his bottom several more times, the disgust at having begged his Mother to stop just moments earlier vanished. He croaked out several more pleas for leniency but they fell on deaf ears, so he gave up and cried quietly into his arms. It seemed as if he’d wasted all his energy on his fruitless fight to get off her lap and now there was none left to endure this stoically.

Hearing the first tears and heartfelt pleas, Charlotte had to steel her heart. If she stopped now, Lucifer would bounce back in the matter of a few short moments and go back to his earlier arguments, insults and overall childish behaviour. So she smacked on, albeit with less force. It didn’t seem to make a difference to her son. He wept pitifully, his face hidden and his shoulders shuddering with each suppressed sob. He must have been more tired than she had assumed, if he broke down like this.

“I’m sorry,” he hiccupped.

“Will I have to listen to any more insults or arguments tonight?” Charlotte asked sternly.

“No!” Lucifer agreed quickly. “I’ll be good! I promise!”

“And will there be a repeat of the overall embarrassing behaviour you displayed today?” she queried.

“No!” he replied. “I’m sorry!”

“All right,” Charlotte said gently. “Then we’re finished here. – You did well, son. I’m proud of you.” She loosened her hold and ran her hand soothingly up and down his back a few times before bending slightly and pulling his underpants back into place, slipping his shoes off his feet and untangling the trousers from his ankles. Lucifer let her, never moving from his bend over position, while he tried to get his breathing under control and stop his tears; most likely embarrassed about his display of emotions.

“Come on, son,” she coaxed gently, gripping his arm and carefully nudging him to a kneeling position. “I’ll get a washcloth for your face.” Charlotte left the room quickly to give Lucifer a few moments to himself. Checking the time, she wrote a quick message to Amenadiel, ordering him to the penthouse to keep his brother company for the evening and to bring food.

“Here, son,” she said, as she returned to the living room, handing Lucifer the wet washcloth. He stood awkwardly by his bar, shifting from foot to foot in apparent discomfort and embarrassment. He quickly wiped the evidence of his crying off his face before discarding the cloth and regarding his Mother uncertainly. His butt hurt somewhat awfully, but he refused to put his hands back to feel the damage. He was immensely happy that Mum had stripped him off his trousers and he was fairly certain that he would not put them back on anytime soon. The heat radiating off his backside should not be contained by trousers. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Mum approaching him until she wrapped him in a tight hug. Her hand coming to rest at the nape of his neck and pressing his face to rest on her shoulder, while stroking his hair soothingly. Relaxing slightly, he allowed himself to enjoy her touch for the moment. Her other hand alternatively rubbed comforting circles or patted him lightly on the back. Turning his face to glimpse at his Mother, he couldn’t help but say, “I still don’t want you to go out with Dan.”

“Lucifer,” Charlotte warned in a low tone, her hand squeezing his neck a bit too tightly to still be called gentle.

“I’m just saying,” he mumbled, moving away from her. Her raised eyebrow not at all reassuring.

“Well, don’t,” she replied sternly. “Unless you’d like a second round.”

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled turning away from her. “But don’t come crying to me afterwards, if it doesn’t work out.”

“Mh-mh,” Charlotte replied, suppressing a smile at her son’s antics, before preparing herself to broach the next sensible subject. “I texted Amenadiel,” she started. “He’ll be over shortly with food and to keep you company tonight.”

“What?” Lucifer asked incredulously, stopping in his attempt to pour himself a liberal amount of scotch, because seriously, he’d earned it. “Why?” His face flushing in both shame and anger – again. “Do I need a babysitter now as well? – Am I not to be trusted to stay home alone? – Or come after you and ruin your date?”

“To be honest, that’s exactly why he is coming over,” Charlotte replied and Lucifer’s eyes flashed dangerously; the pain in his backside momentarily forgotten over the indignation at his Mother’s newest proposal. Balling his hands, he leant forward to glare at her furiously. He neither wanted nor needed his big brother here tonight, breathing down his neck and teasing him about his predicament. Mum must have lost her mind to even propose such a ridiculous notion.

“You must be out of your bloody mind, Mother,” he voiced his thoughts in a growl and in a fit of rage grabbed the still empty glass and threw it across the room. Feeling quite satisfied as it shattered upon impact. Glaring at his Mother, he opened his mouth to let her know what exactly he thought of her asinine idea. Only he never got that far.

Grabbing her son by the ear, Charlotte made quick work of bending him over the piano, before bringing her hand down in an almighty slap on his bare thigh that resonated through the room like a gunshot and left a bright red handprint in its wake. Sucking in a startled and pained gasp, Lucifer couldn’t help but jerk his hip sideways. He didn’t get very far though because his ear was still seized in a firm grip. His defiance and anger vaporised immediately. Still maintaining her firm grip on his ear, Charlotte pulled Lucifer back up to face her.

“Have I got your attention now, son?” she asked threateningly, twisting his ear painfully. Lucifer stooped hurriedly, following the sharp pull.

“Yes!” he replied quickly, his hand covering his Mother’s; fingers fumbling clumsily at hers, and, damn it, it hurt! “You can let go now. – Please?”

“Repeat what is going to happen, once I leave,” Charlotte ordered, not heeding her son’s wishes in the slightest.

“Amenadiel will come over because you deem me in obvious need of a babysitter – ow!” he exclaimed, as his Mother pinched his ear more tightly in response to his disrespectful tone.

“And what will you do?”

“I’ll go to bed. Like a good devil,” Lucifer couldn’t help but add sarcastically and was rewarded with another painful twist of his ear. “Ah! Mu-um!”

“What will happen if I find out that you haven’t been the perfect little angel that I raised you to be?” Charlotte asked to clarify, still less than thrilled by her son’s attitude.

“How should I now? – I can’t read your mind!” Lucifer exclaimed, bending his knees to accommodate better to his Mother’s height.

“Make an educated guess, son,” Charlotte ordered drily.

“You’ll probably find a new and inventive way to torture me!” he yelped and heaved a sigh of relief as his Mother finally let go. Straightening up he prodded his ear with careful fingers, before cupping it with his hand in an effort to make it hurt less. It didn’t.

“It’s not new and inventive. It’s very old and tried and yields results,” Charlotte clarified with a raised eyebrow. “Now, clean that up,” she said pointing at the remains of the glass. “Eat what Amenadiel will provide. And then it’s off to bed with you. – I’ll be on my way. Your brother will be here shortly.” Grumbling to himself, Lucifer eyed the mess on the floor. “And Lucifer?” Charlotte waited until her son’s sullen eyes were fixed on her. “Behave.”

When his Mother had finally left the penthouse, he quickly discarded the shards into the trash bin. Not because Mum had ordered him to, but because he refused to live in any kind of mess. What an incredibly awful day it had been. He’d been embarrassed in front of Detective Douche – twice! Mum had actually spanked him like some misbehaving child, his brother would be over shortly to babysit and he’d been send to bed early, and still he had not achieved his main goal: sabotaging Mum’s date with Detective Douche. Pouring himself a generous helping of scotch, he skulked off to his bedroom to nurse his bruised ego (and arse – and ear) in solitude.


“So what did you do to piss her off?” Amenadiel asked stepping into his brother’s spacious bedroom and leaning against the doorframe. Lucifer stood at the window, facing away from him. He took in his slightly slouched frame and unusually unkempt hair. He was still wearing his dress shirt, although it was wrinkled. But what stood out most prominently was the absence of trousers.

“What makes you think I did anything?” Lucifer replied, not turning around. He was apparently not ready to face his big brother yet. His voice was slightly hoarse and had a definite edgy undertone. Of course Amenadiel had already figured out what had happened here, even if he did not know any details and no-one had actually told him. But he wasn’t stupid. He remembered their Mother’s chosen method of chastising her children all too well. He had been on the receiving end of that particular treatment several times back when they had still been a happy family in the Silver City. – And as the eldest he had provided a source of comfort for his younger siblings whenever they had deemed their parents’ chastisement too harsh or unfair.

“For one, Mom called me here to basically babysit my grown-up little brother. Secondly you’re supposed to be in bed by – oh yeah – 7:45 in the evening,” Amenadiel stated after checking his watch.

“Maybe I’m just tired and not feeling well?” Lucifer still hadn’t turned around.

“You also have a mom-sized handprint on your thigh. – Looks painful by the way. – So what did you do, little brother?” Amenadiel repeated lightly. Lucifer glanced over his shoulder at his brother, then tried to spot the mark he’d commented on, without much success.

“Mum didn’t like my interference – and attitude,” he finally admitted turning around to face Amenadiel.

“Nothing new there,” Amenadiel replied good-naturedly, but decided not to push. “Wanna play video games and eat pizza? – I brought a playstation and some games. It’s fun. You should try it.” Lucifer threw him a baffled look.

“Are you not going to be the good little soldier and herd me off to bed?” he asked sarcastically.

“Mom’s not here,” Amenadiel said with a wink. “I won’t tell. – Come on, Luci. It’s boring to play alone.”

“I’ll pass. Thank you,” Lucifer stated, turning away again. “But you go ahead and knock yourself out.”

“Don’t be a grouch,” Amenadiel said good-naturedly. “Or would you rather be tucked in bed and told a bedtime story? – Because that can be arranged,” he added with a mischievous grin and wink as Lucifer threw him a dark look over his shoulder. Sighing loudly, Lucifer ran a hand through his messy hair, seemingly contemplating his brother’s proposal. “Once upon a time, there was a boy who didn’t know when to keep his big mouth shut,” Amenadiel started.

“I hate you,” Lucifer groused, a dark look on his face. “All right,” he finally agreed. “But if you tattle, I’m going to make you regret it.” Amenadiel barked a laugh.

“Just do me the favour and put on some pants,” he said.

“I’d really rather not.”

“That bad, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Lucifer conceded, stepping into the living room. “Now show me how to play these video games.”


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